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General Category => Questions and Answers => Topic started by: Frilz on 16 August 2013, 08:58:16 pm

Title: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Frilz on 16 August 2013, 08:58:16 pm
Ive been asked to do fisting and prostate massage on a guy im meeting tomorrow.....i thought easy money....but.......i havent got a clue!! What to do....how to do it.....what, if anything to use!! I presume lots of lube.... But any advice would be great!
Thanks loveliesxx
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: tess99 on 16 August 2013, 09:14:28 pm
whoa, fisting isn't easy. I'd Google it. I have a book that says how to do it and I've had male gay friends show me how to position your hand at first.  Should be interesting but not easy.
http://gaylife.about.com/od/gaysexadvice/ht/gayfisting.htm

this looked like the best article.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Lady_Lust_XXX on 16 August 2013, 09:28:30 pm
Make sure you have latex gloves, you can get longer ones which are more made for fisting but I don't know if you have time to get them.  At least if you get the gloves from pound shop he may try taking that then chicken out.

Fingers crossed for you.  All I can say is *ouch*.

Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: xw5 on 16 August 2013, 09:32:28 pm
Trim your nails on the hand you're going to use right back, consider using a thin glove, and use plenty of lube..

.. and consider not trying the fisting.

Prostate massage isn't particularly difficult - you're aiming to gently rub something not far inside his anus, towards his front. If you stuck a Tampax in there, it would do it.

Fisting safely takes a bit more. If he's been fisted a lot before, he will be able to guide you, but if he's new or relatively so for this, it may well be the case that his fantasies are running ahead of the reality he can cope with.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Frilz on 16 August 2013, 09:34:21 pm
I mainly took this booking because im on my break week (god less mother nature) and thought i could get some easy dosh. Its defiantly not going to hurt me! Ive heard stories that you can get your hand stuck up their ass if they clench! Omg.....the embarrassment! I hope hes just a fantasy and actually it doesn't get to the full fisting. Dont fancy my hand stuck up someones ass!!
Argh!
I do have gloves at home, but will buy the longer ones nxt time, thanks LL
And ive looked at that website.....cant be pleasurable surely!!
X
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: amy on 16 August 2013, 09:37:59 pm
Ive been asked to do fisting and prostate massage on a guy im meeting tomorrow.....i thought easy money....but.......i havent got a clue!! What to do....how to do it.....what, if anything to use!! I presume lots of lube.... But any advice would be great!
Thanks loveliesxx

Like Tess says, it's not easy and really not something that anyone should be asking a novice to do outside an ongoing relationship - you can cause very serious injury if you get it wrong and I personally wouldn't take the risk unless I'd at least had some experience of doing it with a partner first.

That said, if your client is experienced at receiving he can help talk you through the process provided you're clear and honest about being completely new to it. If he's not, I wouldn't even entertain the idea and rereading your question I'd be inclined to just turn the booking (or certainly the fisting) down and suggest the client tries somebody else.


EDIT: What Ian said ;D
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 August 2013, 09:52:43 pm
Personally I think if he can take a fist up his bum he can take anything, greedy bugger so I wouldn't worry too much. The girls are right when they say it can cause injury but really?? He's obviously been playing around with it enough to feel comfortable enough to ask a complete stranger to do it  ::)

Personally I would go near a guys bum, I know a few like a wee finger or whatever out there but I like my men to remain masculine, I think I'd be put off anyone in my personal life asking me to do anything with they're bums especially fist it. In my work life I still wouldn't go near they're bums but I am Miss Vanilla in my working role.

Each to they're own I guess  ::) If you feel comfortable enough to go through with it, just go with it, I am sure he'll guide you. You could tell him its not something you often get asked for so may need a little guidance.

xx
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Frilz on 16 August 2013, 09:59:20 pm
Im not looking forward to it! I will be honest, il have a go! It isnt his first time, he tells me he has it often. Urgh! Thanks for your advice again ladies!
X
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: amy on 16 August 2013, 10:01:48 pm
Personally I think if he can take a fist up his bum he can take anything, greedy bugger so I wouldn't worry too much. The girls are right when they say it can cause injury but really?? He's obviously been playing around with it enough to feel comfortable enough to ask a complete stranger to do it  ::)

Not necessarily - he might have seen it looking very easy in some porn and not have any idea of how difficult and dangerous it can be if nobody has a clue what they're doing - he might also assumed that somebody who provides sexual services for a living will know how to do all of them properly even though we know how silly this is (I could no more do a domination session than I could perform open heart surgery, for example) and punters don't always do their research that well.

As for not being 'masculine', I can't see how wanting a woman to play with his arse isn't masculine? It's a man's arse, therefore it's inherently masculine, surely? From what I've seen and read, far more men like their bums played with than women.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: tess99 on 16 August 2013, 10:17:54 pm
totally, I blame porn for so much. Men have prostate glands and get a lot of pleasure from anal play. Some don't because they think it's "gay" but nevertheless, it feels good to them. I had a bf try it on me vaginally and couldn't and people get babies out of there (not mine, but you know what I mean). Lots a work.  Let us know how it goes, I'd probable suggest a dildo but I'm a sissy
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 August 2013, 10:48:52 pm
Personally I think if he can take a fist up his bum he can take anything, greedy bugger so I wouldn't worry too much. The girls are right when they say it can cause injury but really?? He's obviously been playing around with it enough to feel comfortable enough to ask a complete stranger to do it  ::)

Not necessarily - he might have seen it looking very easy in some porn and not have any idea of how difficult and dangerous it can be if nobody has a clue what they're doing - he might also assumed that somebody who provides sexual services for a living will know how to do all of them properly even though we know how silly this is (I could no more do a domination session than I could perform open heart surgery, for example) and punters don't always do their research that well.

As for not being 'masculine', I can't see how wanting a woman to play with his arse isn't masculine? It's a man's arse, therefore it's inherently masculine, surely? From what I've seen and read, far more men like their bums played with than women.

I know what your saying Amy but that's just how I feel. I briefly (well when I say briefly it was actually months but I finished with him not long after I discovered he loved having his bum played with) went out with a guy in 2009 who was 6ft4 weighed 18 stone, pure muscle but not body builder, just pure ripped in a good way, really good looking etc etc which is what I like, I love a man who is strong and can throw me around a little but further into the relationship he tells me he loves it up the bum, I was shocked and turned off and it took away that strong masculine image I always had for him. I thought it was a bit gay.

Not to mention the fact that I don't like messing with area's that shit comes out, I think its a one way street and don't like my own bum being played with so I aint interested in playing with someone elses.

Sex is all about compatibility so if someone is into having they're bum played with then they should be with someone who is comfortable and equally turned on by it otherwise whats the point? Doesn't do anything for me at all. I'm grossed out by bums and what comes out of them, I'm a bit OCD about mine, making sure its spotlessly clean. Far too many clients come to see me with smelly arses, I can smell it even when just giving them a back massage.

It just aint for me but each to they're own.

xx
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: amy on 16 August 2013, 11:18:43 pm
Well it's only 'gay' if it's another man doing it - men who like to have anal sex with women aren't gay either, since homosexual behaviour isn't about what you're doing, it's about who you're doing it with :). And neither has anything to do with being 'masculine' unless you think that gay men aren't masculine despite being so by definition (because they're men and not women), and then we're going off in a very strange direction indeed.

For what it's worth, I don't go near their arses either as a general rule for exactly the same reason as you. I used to (and I still have a strapon put away somewhere which was quite expensive) but I got fed up with the smell and the mess - when you work mostly from hotels it just isn't practical. Even taking all that into account I had one leave shit streaks on one of my towels the other week, and that was when he'd just got out of the shower  >:(.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Pink~Princess on 16 August 2013, 11:42:02 pm
Again I know what your saying, did I ever mention I am totally shit with words when writing them down? I find it hard to explain myself sometimes without offending or putting my foot in it. I know what I mean but I cant explain it properly. It does turn me off though if a real life partner liked having his bum played with.

And YUCK lol I have had shit stains on my towels too, they're white and I noticed one's shit stain didn't come out after being in the wash? I have a new washing machine, use expensive liquid tab things and nice fabric softener so its not my crappy washing, must be his toxic shit  :-\

But yeah the smell and the mess is just disgusting, our bum holes aren't meant for things going up them never mind fists  :o

And have you ever seen the state of someones bum hole after years of bumming?  ::)

Again each to they're own, I have a female friend who LOVES anal sex which I find strange as I feel nothing but pain so goes to show we're all different and it would be a boring world if we were all the same.

xx
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: amy on 16 August 2013, 11:48:34 pm
And have you ever seen the state of someones bum hole after years of bumming?  ::)

Again each to they're own, I have a female friend who LOVES anal sex which I find strange as I feel nothing but pain so goes to show we're all different and it would be a boring world if we were all the same.

Well I've been doing bumming for 20+ years, and mine's not in a state! You do need to be careful and sensible, but anal sex isn't damaging in itself and the horror stories mostly come from porn stars who've spent ridiculous amounts of time being banged silly with things the size of allotment veg :D.

I know how to clean mine, too. I do wonder if the fact you and I've had problems with non-cleaned punters is that the gents who know how to do this stuff properly are more likely to book fetish providers than GFE-type ladies like ourselves, so we get the rank (pun intended) amateurs?
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 August 2013, 12:12:47 am
Sorry Amy I really laughed there when reading that, see what I mean about putting my foot in it?  :FF

Well I am sure you have a lovely bum hole  ;D But Ive seen some rank things in porn, not that I sit and watch porn especially anal porn, it scares me but when Ive had bf's in the past and watching porn with them I've seen a few messed up bum holes. My ex flat mate from when I was 19 was gay and I seen his bum hole and it was practically inside out (why isn't they're a VOM emotion) so I guess I am just scarred for life. Also I only go to the toilet once or twice a week if I am lucky so I'd be scared I shit myself if I took anything up there. Oh no I just don't like bums and that's giving or receiving so as the OP was discussing a FIST is just for greedy guts lol.

And I'm not sure weather or not you and I attract the amateurs or just dirty bastards with no respect or manners (I think its the second one)

xx
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: tess99 on 17 August 2013, 12:19:47 am
I've seen prolapsed anuses and it's not pretty at all. Like Amy said, that's from abuse and stretching etc. Before anal it's important to have a bowel movement, some people even fast before to keep things neat.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: amy on 17 August 2013, 12:45:59 am
I've seen prolapsed anuses and it's not pretty at all. Like Amy said, that's from abuse and stretching etc. Before anal it's important to have a bowel movement, some people even fast before to keep things neat.

I agree and it's probably worth saying for the benefit of the OP that if the punter who has booked the fisting session does this lots, it's liable not to look too pretty down there (if for no reason other than that she can plan her reaction if it's grim).

I saw a client once who was well into big insertions and whilst I don't flinch at a lot, the best way I can describe it was like a chrysanthemum and I actually had trouble finding his anus amongst it all. Not good.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: happyhappyjoyjoy on 17 August 2013, 01:23:22 am
I've seen prolapsed anuses and it's not pretty at all. Like Amy said, that's from abuse and stretching etc. Before anal it's important to have a bowel movement, some people even fast before to keep things neat.

I agree and it's probably worth saying for the benefit of the OP that if the punter who has booked the fisting session does this lots, it's liable not to look too pretty down there (if for no reason other than that she can plan her reaction if it's grim).

I saw a client once who was well into big insertions and whilst I don't flinch at a lot, the best way I can describe it was like a chrysanthemum and I actually had trouble finding his anus amongst it all. Not good.

My friend once said its like a tropical flower haha
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Chanel xxx on 17 August 2013, 01:58:11 am
.

And I'm not sure weather or not you and I attract the amateurs or just dirty bastards with no respect or manners (I think its the second one)

xx

Wow!! What a statement? Do you really enjoy escorting or is it just for the money you do this?
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: xw5 on 17 August 2013, 10:45:23 am
I would have thought that it is obvious that it's possible to enjoy escorting and only do it for the money, same as any other job.

If you want to have sex with lots of men, there are easier ways of doing it than escorting.

Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 August 2013, 10:53:55 am
.

And I'm not sure weather or not you and I attract the amateurs or just dirty bastards with no respect or manners (I think its the second one)

xx

Wow!! What a statement? Do you really enjoy escorting or is it just for the money you do this?

YES I am doing it for the MONEY to better my future, I have a plan and my funds are gathering nicely. I was only earning ?220 a week in my profession (Beautician). There is no other reason why I would choose to put my personal life & love life on hold, no other reason why I would want to live a double life, no other reason why I would want to lie every single day to my loved ones and no other reason why I would put up with daily abuse, threats, smelly clients, rude clients, awkward clients, men I am not attracted to in any way etc etc etc other than the MONEY.

Sorry if that's completely abrupt but so was your post and that's the truth. I wear my heart on my sleeve, too honest for my own good sometimes. But if theres any other way someone can suggest that I can make 2500 a week other than escorting I'd be interested to hear it.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: tess99 on 17 August 2013, 10:57:58 am
I've seen prolapsed anuses and it's not pretty at all. Like Amy said, that's from abuse and stretching etc. Before anal it's important to have a bowel movement, some people even fast before to keep things neat.

I agree and it's probably worth saying for the benefit of the OP that if the punter who has booked the fisting session does this lots, it's liable not to look too pretty down there (if for no reason other than that she can plan her reaction if it's grim).

I saw a client once who was well into big insertions and whilst I don't flinch at a lot, the best way I can describe it was like a chrysanthemum and I actually had trouble finding his anus amongst it all. Not good.

My friend once said its like a tropical flower haha
  Wpw, that is  a true optimist, prolapsed rectum equal tropical flower. Sweet
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 August 2013, 10:58:58 am
I would have thought that it is obvious that it's possible to enjoy escorting and only do it for the money, same as any other job.

If you want to have sex with lots of men, there are easier ways of doing it than escorting.

This is so true x
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: KinkyLady on 17 August 2013, 11:55:18 am
I do a lot of fisting, as long as you read up well and are careful you'll be fine. 

The invaluable advice however is use a spreadable butter instead of lube, (I can't believe its not butter I find is best) it is infinitely better for fisting.

I put a bin bag underneath them and have a stack of gloves available right next to you. The likelyhood is you'll be spending a lot of time warming him up stretching him (unless he's extremely experienced) and you may well need to take one off at some point.  Also don't forget to turn the gloves inside out as you pull them off to save mess.

Oh, and if you do get all the way in and he wants to go further watch out for cramp in the hands! Lol
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Frilz on 17 August 2013, 12:12:49 pm
I do a lot of fisting, as long as you read up well and are careful you'll be fine. 

The invaluable advice however is use a spreadable butter instead of lube, (I can't believe its not butter I find is best) it is infinitely better for fisting.

I put a bin bag underneath them and have a stack of gloves available right next to you. The likelyhood is you'll be spending a lot of time warming him up stretching him (unless he's extremely experienced) and you may well need to take one off at some point.  Also don't forget to turn the gloves inside out as you pull them off to save mess.

Oh, and if you do get all the way in and he wants to go further watch out for cramp in the hands! Lol


Thankyou!! Slightly amused by the utter lark tho!! Appt is at 4 so im actually getting palpitations lol. Didnt think about a bing bag, thanks!!

Hope hes fasted for about 10yrs so theres no poop to be found! X
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Cassidy Star on 17 August 2013, 01:32:44 pm
Well done Pink Princess for your honesty

AND your hilarious posting about the shitty towels !
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Pink~Princess on 17 August 2013, 01:41:57 pm
Well done Pink Princess for your honesty

AND your hilarious posting about the shitty towels !

 :-* xx
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: RR on 18 August 2013, 09:39:16 am
One time I was on tour and it was quite slow. I took a half hour booking later on in the evening just because of the money.

He turns up, he is actually ok but announces he wants me to fist him anally. I've fisted partners before, albeit vaginally, so positioning my hand appropriately wasn't a problem, but its not something I particularly care for as the active partner. At this point I was like oh I wish you'd said so I could have had gloves - ie, trying to get out of it. He goes "oh its okay, I brought gloves and lube". I then went to my plan B of "have you douched?" He laughs and says yeah, its a bit dirty otherwise. He seemed quite switched on to anal play as we chatted briefly, and seemed an affable, good natured guy so I had no reason to think otherwise.

So I go out of the room to get him a drink, still thinking "how can I get out of this?"

Come back into the room, he is unpacking his bag of tricks; he turns around to get his drink on the table behind him. I take a quick glance at the things he's laid out - lube, little vibrator, condoms (I presume for the vibe), and Marigold gloves.

Yes. Bright yellow Marigolds.

I say "are you sure they're the right kind of gloves for anal? They can be a bit thick, it must be uncomfortable."

He says "no its okay, I use them all the time."

In the end he couldn't take my fist, I have big hands for a woman. But afterwards we had a laugh and a joke, during which I mentioned that I would never look at washing up in the same way again...

Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: RR on 18 August 2013, 09:59:58 am
I find a lot more men enjoy anal stimulation than women - after all, they have a prostrate gland up there, women don't. I don't mind the area being played with and I've tried anal sex, it doesn't do it for me. One of my friends absolutely loves it, can't see why myself, but then she likes DP as well... She knows what I do and I always say to her "seriously, you'd make a fortune in porn, the things you get up to!"

You'll find men that do partake in regular sexual activity anally are generally aware of things like douching etc, although there will always be one who has no idea.

Definitely wear latex gloves (I don't recommend Marigolds) and fisting is a big step up, especially if you're not experienced in that. Your hand isn't really forming a fist, its kind of more curved rather than clenched tightly if you properly form your hand into a fist. If you collect your four fingers together, your middle finger slips back behind your index and ring finger, then put your thumb over those two. Thats the kind of shape your hand starts to form whilst fisting, then it kind of curves more into a fist shape. Its the knuckle that is probably more awkward feeling upon penetration because the bones do start to pop out as your hand takes on more of a fist shape. Go slowly, even vaginally you've got to go slowly and thats designed for penetration, so with anal you have to go even more slowly. Make sure he keeps talking to you about his comfort levels especially during insertion. Don't make any sudden jerky movements because its an extremely intense feeling and the receiving partner feels everything. And loads, I mean loads, of lube.

When you're withdrawing, go slowly as well, and try and get him to keep still at least til you're past the knuckle areas. If you try and pull out quickly it will kind of lock around you because of the contractions/throbbing in the area post orgasm.

If he's experienced at receiving fisting he'll generally be quite good at giving you advice as well before, during and after.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massageaAAASS
Post by: Frilz on 18 August 2013, 11:02:04 am
Hi girls...well, lets just say i will not be offering fisting on my 'likes' anymore.

The guy i met was a over weight guy, i mean verging on morbidly obese. He booked me flr 2hrs, for the first 1hr he told me how hes to fat to get a gf, his belly gets in the way to find his penis, he cant remember what it looks like etc..... Then it clicked!! He wants anal play because getting to his penis is very difficult never mind playing with it and gettin an erection.
So after a hour and abit of counselling he says well we better try and have a go......
He apparently loved it and booked wscorts all the time. Im 10000% sure he hadnt. He ended up crying and sobbing that he doesnt know whT to do with his life and hes a nobody!
So we stopped after a about of 10mins mainly because hes blubbering and snotting everywhere.

After going 25mins overtime with him he left, said thanks and gave me a tip ;) i felt sorry for the guy but sugested to him instead of paying ?100's on me then calling the samaritans would have been alot cheaper and they are trained!!

X
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Chanel xxx on 18 August 2013, 11:47:56 am
.

And I'm not sure weather or not you and I attract the amateurs or just dirty bastards with no respect or manners (I think its the second one)

xx

Wow!! What a statement? Do you really enjoy escorting or is it just for the money you do this?

YES I am doing it for the MONEY to better my future, I have a plan and my funds are gathering nicely. I was only earning ?220 a week in my profession (Beautician). There is no other reason why I would choose to put my personal life & love life on hold, no other reason why I would want to live a double life, no other reason why I would want to lie every single day to my loved ones and no other reason why I would put up with daily abuse, threats, smelly clients, rude clients, awkward clients, men I am not attracted to in any way etc etc etc other than the MONEY.

Sorry if that's completely abrupt but so was your post and that's the truth. I wear my heart on my sleeve, too honest for my own good sometimes. But if theres any other way someone can suggest that I can make 2500 a week other than escorting I'd be interested to hear it.

Ok well I was only asking as by reading your posts you seem to be having not to good a time  with it at the moment. I dont have to deal with the issues such as threats,rude clients ect but I would find all that very stressful especially with having to deal with hiding from friends and family. Yes I could have explained my reasons for asking as I can now it was very blunt. You can express yourself however you wish Im not offended nor will I ever be as I dont know you and vice versa but through your honesty theres alot of anger...
Money is great as it can give us security but for me peace of mind is invaluable.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: RR on 18 August 2013, 12:05:36 pm
Bless his heart. I do have to admit when a client starts crying for whatever reason it always melts my heart a little. Unrelated to fisting, but had one client who had lost his wife of 40 odd years who started crying whilst talking about her after he got dressed etc. Bless him, I hope he (your client) finds some mental peace and learns to love himself.
Title: Re: Fisting and prostate massage
Post by: Pink~Princess on 18 August 2013, 07:29:18 pm
.

And I'm not sure weather or not you and I attract the amateurs or just dirty bastards with no respect or manners (I think its the second one)

xx

Wow!! What a statement? Do you really enjoy escorting or is it just for the money you do this?

YES I am doing it for the MONEY to better my future, I have a plan and my funds are gathering nicely. I was only earning ?220 a week in my profession (Beautician). There is no other reason why I would choose to put my personal life & love life on hold, no other reason why I would want to live a double life, no other reason why I would want to lie every single day to my loved ones and no other reason why I would put up with daily abuse, threats, smelly clients, rude clients, awkward clients, men I am not attracted to in any way etc etc etc other than the MONEY.

Sorry if that's completely abrupt but so was your post and that's the truth. I wear my heart on my sleeve, too honest for my own good sometimes. But if theres any other way someone can suggest that I can make 2500 a week other than escorting I'd be interested to hear it.

Ok well I was only asking as by reading your posts you seem to be having not to good a time  with it at the moment. I dont have to deal with the issues such as threats,rude clients ect but I would find all that very stressful especially with having to deal with hiding from friends and family. Yes I could have explained my reasons for asking as I can now it was very blunt. You can express yourself however you wish Im not offended nor will I ever be as I dont know you and vice versa but through your honesty theres alot of anger...
Money is great as it can give us security but for me peace of mind is invaluable.

Yep I am having a hard time of it at the moment but probably no harder than any other escort who show's they're number on they're profile its just that some are MUCH MUCH better at dealing with the job and what comes along with it than others and obviously they're are people who genuinely enjoy the job and people who don't.

And like you said I don't know you and you don't know me so they're isn't any anger in my posts as a person (i'm not an angry person) but I do get angry at some of the things ignorant people do such as shite all over my nice white fluffy towels which was relevant to what I was saying on this thread.