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Messages - Meg_Foster

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Questions and Answers / Re: relationships with former punters.
« on: February 14, 2012, 08:02:19 AM »
Curvygrace: What has worked best for me in the past is to simply say "I was single when I met you. I had an emotional need that was unfilled, and thus I was open to a romantic relationship with you, a client, who I really liked. The same goes for any classmates, friends, whatever. If I'm single, I have an unfilled emotional need and will be open to a romantic relationship. If I'm in a healthy relationship with someone I have chemistry with, I will not have an emotional need. Thus, I will no longer be open to romantic or emotionally involved relationships with clients, colleagues, classmates, friends or strangers."

Makes sense, no?

Blather and Babble / SAAFE [style of] forum for Sugar Dating?
« on: February 04, 2012, 09:14:00 PM »
Hi There -

I apologize if I'm posting this in the inappropriate place.

I want to start a forum similar to SAAFE for women who use Sugar Dating sites. I've spoken to friends who began sugar dating without experience with formal sex work and also looked at blogs, and a lot of them have been taken advantage of or had encounters with people who were aggressive/rude/dangerous. And I personally think the problem is that there isn't a central, virtual and independent site for blacklisting people, sharing advice, etc.

Anyways - I would really appreciate it if any of the people who built or do tech maintenance for this site would PM me and give me advice regarding costs, how to proceed after purchasing a domain, how much time it takes to build a forum, the commitment required to maintain a site like SAAFE, and useful programs to block spam, etc.



P.S - I live in the U.S. I posted on SAAFE occasionally a while back.

[Title edited for clarity]

Questions and Answers / Re: Kissing
« on: November 09, 2011, 09:45:57 PM »
I also do GFE, I've also always included kissing. I agree...kissing is on-par with cum in mouth, which I don't offer. The main issues I have with it are people with really wet mouths. \

And people who don't french-kiss but sort of lick my lips and the inside of my lips and my teeth and tongue.  Does anyone else get this too?

It really hasn't been overwhelming in the past. Only recently...all three of the individuals I see on a regular basis/longer bookings like doing this.

Has anyone ever tried an at-home laser hair removal system? I'm fair with dark, coarse hair and I've had laser treatment in a few areas...but covering everything and as Emily Jones mentioned, the fix-ups, just seem so expensive...

Blather and Babble / Re: Bareback for 50?
« on: October 12, 2011, 08:25:08 PM »
Thanks Paris - your post was the little slap/cold-water in the face I needed to go back to the old-strict-no rubber-no-service policy with this fellow.

Seeing him tonight, actually, so thank you!

Blather and Babble / Re: Bareback for 50?
« on: October 12, 2011, 05:55:23 PM »
I empathize.

I do the same thing, but he doesn't come inside of me.

It's, yes I know it's incredibly stupid.

I also know he'd never cheated on his wife prior to seeing me, and he's too...I don't think he's the lying type.

And the whole 'well, he's married, so he'd have to be thoughtful about not giving HIV to his wife, right? Right?'...anyways, it offers a sort of protective cloak.

I also don't have much sex outside of this. And I like the feeling of condom-less sex.

So anyways, I empathize.

I know all that and was expeting those exact type of responses.
We are totally honest and open with each other about literally everything, i can tell he tells me the truth. Ive seen it in his eyes and the way he says it that he is far too scared to do it with anyone else. He only sleeps me and his wife who only wants sex every so many weeks which is why he comes to me as i make him feel young again and no one else will do BB, he looks ok for his age he's 52 and visits me every few days and an overnight every month. Apparantly she knows about me and doesnt mind, she handles all their finances so she knows whats going on except about the BB part.

My hourly rate is 150, he gives me 300, or 1000 for an overnight, on average i make probably 2.5k per month from him alone, financially i dont need to see any other clients or dance as a stripper but i do anyway as i love flirting, lots of sex and money.

I can usually tell when he's slept with his wife as he doesnt visit me for nearly 2 weeks, he just cant physically manage more sex to be seeing any other women.

Im on the pill but if i do get pregnant i'll have a nice percentage amount of his income from the CSA, thats the main reason i only do BB with a wealthy client. Ive thought everything through and through i plan things so i'll never worry financially in my life.

Blather and Babble / Re: Topic Suggestion - Male Students
« on: October 12, 2011, 05:16:22 PM »


I will keep light-hearted jokes about media depictions of prostitution to myself (or to a personal blog) in the future?

And no - as 'benefiting off the sex work profits of others' is an answer to the question "How do they get by" appreciate responses.

This is in reference to the previous threat. That was, now that I think of it, the main question. No offense taken, Lorrissa! I completely agree re. being harsh on people with body issues.

In other words, how would you respond to the statement:

 "you're only nice bc I'm paying"?

or something along these lines. Yes, this is not our problem. But if this comes out in a minor breakdown after everything is rolling along fine, what is the best response?

What would you say if that is directly said or insinuated in a way which maintains boundaries and reassures the client?

Blather and Babble / Topic Suggestion - Male Students
« on: October 12, 2011, 05:27:03 AM »
I would just love to read this article: How are heterosexual male students getting by without sex work? How do they perceive the rampant sexism barring entry into the sex industry?

Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence.
Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.
Perhaps the action you take will be successful;
perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow.
But any action is better than no action at all.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start and you especially have to be hurt like hell before you can write seriously. But when you get the damned hurt, use it-don't cheat with it.
-Ernest Hemingway

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-Ernest Hemingway

For a very funny funny satire piece on the 'dear me, college students are entering sex work' panic:

Female Grads now have Option of Paying Back Student Loans in Sexual Acts...I found this a while ago and couldn't stop laughing.

I think most of the positive portrayals are created by people within the sex industry. I really do like these two blogs (and I really enjoyed SPREAD magazine when it was out)

The former is a bit and white,  a bit too Camila Paglia on gender, and a bit too authoritarian-happy-hooker-ey. But it's still funny, witty and worth a read.

There's an interview in the LA times with the actor who plays a male escort in Hung talking about his own sex work as a broke actor...

"Hey, you grow up as an artist in a big city, as James Dean said, you're going to have one arm tied behind your back if you don't accept people's sexual flavors. You know, when I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless, I didn't have any money and I was living in my car. I was 18. I wasn't averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?",0,2768723.story

And this article critiquing the language in anti-prostitution advocacy:

And two articles, one in the huffington post, one in NYC's village voice critiquing the trafficking panic...

The former, by the way, is by an academic by Weitzer. He really is the only academic I can found that can write and talk about sex work in a completely unbiased, unpoliticized way.

The article:  "Sociology of Sex Work," Annual Review of Sociology, v. 35: 213-234.
(for free on the site) is definitely worth a read, or worth pointing anyone who has any biased and stereotyped understanding of prostitution broadly. anyways, every time I read an article about end demand, trafficking or the swedish model, I get intensely irritated and want to I don't know, create some sort of certification for reporting on sex work or advocating for something relating to sex work. Which would basically involve reading the aforementioned article every night for thirty nights until it seeps in, having conversations with a dozen individuals in different countries and sectors...

Questions and Answers / Re: Clients who Wallow in Self-Pity...
« on: October 10, 2011, 06:11:37 AM »
I just hate it when they make it seem like I'm PART of the problem.

It's like, people who go to therapists or counselors don't start getting mopey and angry at the therapist for not being their real friend! ::)

Questions and Answers / Re: Clients who Wallow in Self-Pity...
« on: October 10, 2011, 06:09:24 AM »
I love the 'allowing the sex to happen to him' thing. That's really funny, considering he called, made a booking, came and paid. [doh]

Questions and Answers / Re: Clients who Wallow in Self-Pity...
« on: October 10, 2011, 06:08:02 AM »
Re Natasha - sometimes sex therapist is more like what we do?

Absolutely. And I actually sorta love the guys who are trying to positively work out something in their lives: like--

 'why am I seeing prostitutes when I'm happily married and have a perfect life?' Or 'is what I'm doing okay?' or 'How can I become more attractive to women/become more comfortable with women and have the relationship I desire?' or 'How can I give a woman an orgasm?' or 'How does this sex position really work?' or 'every worker I've seen seems to be fine with this job/not addicted to meth/not pimped out/traumatized, but I still feel like I'm doing something horrible. Why?' or 'Am I normal for...'

Great conversations. And hell, we have more experience with comparable cases and at least they aren't going to get answers filtered through some moralized psych text book.

But that's completely different from the  'woe is me, I'm such a loser for having to pay for it folk, I'll never be able to get a girl...'

Anyways, thank you Lorissa for the advice. I think just heaping the praise onto the client and saying I'm bisexual but only sleep with men for $$ and have been like this for 3 years and don't see it ever changing is the best way to go with them.

How about Flu dust/powder or owls to transport suitcases! Certainly a way to bi-pass air-line regulations.

Also - sex worker problems are quite clearly written all over this forum: twats who want something from us but do not want to pay, twats that act disrespectfully because they're paying, nosy twats, twats who disrespect boundaries,  abolitionist twats, moralist twats...

So perhaps the problem is twats? 

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