You know you're an escort when...

[Ellie_e]

LOL    I am also adding the fluffy slippers from the Corinthia to that list! xxx

I always take the bath salts from there

(actually scratch that, I take everything, I think I've got about 5 complete set of their toiletries plus bag and umbrella)


- you shower before any 'civilian sex', and wish you could demand the guy does likewise
- you find regular dates weird, as they don't have a time limit
- you have at least 10 different brands of mini toiletries
- you pay for everything in cash
- ?50 notes are not that exciting
- you can't remember when you last used a cash machine
- you know how to get lube stains out of any fabric
- all your handbags contain condoms, lube and spare ?20s
- you have 5 fake names and 6 email accounts
- you can guess how many ?s are in a stack of ?20s by the size of it
- you can count cash faster than a bank teller
- you don't get up before 9am 
- you spend more on underwear than you do on clothes

[ilovedots]

...you can make a hotel bed faster than the cleaners!

...you realise that regardless of your age, weight fluctuations, bad hair days etc, there will ALWAYS be somebody out there willing to pay for the privilege of having sex with you  

...your 'body clock' tells you how long it's been (30min, 1h) every time without fail

[sadie x]

- you have waited and done more time than an immate
-you have repeated the same conversations a million times over
-your better at massages than a athelete pro
-youve emtied more bins than the bin man
-your extremly hard to please in bedroon

[Sarita]

You have to be careful every time you send a none work related email not to sign off with your working name and a kiss.

[ilovedots]

You have to be careful every time you send a none work related email not to sign off with your working name and a kiss.

or when you text 118 118

[xprincesspx]

Awwww Sadie " youve emtied more bins than the bin man "


I actually LOL there x

Hilarious !!!

[Rainbow24]

Aha love this thread! Allllllllllllllllllll of the above lmao... I'm new on saafe & it's so funny & nice to hear all that... I'm not alone heheh xxx

[Tabbycat]

You wear a long frumpy cardi and equally frumpy flats into a hotel reception in the hope that staff think your too much of a bore to be whoring.  You shuffle to the lift and can be out of them and into the highest heels and slinky dress by the time the lift goes ping on the 1st floor.  ****Whist of course praying your client isnt knocking around the lobby****

[lili69]

You hang out the washing to dry and notice that the whole line consists of naughty frilly undies, stockings, towels and gym kit!!!

[Devilish Afro]

You wear a long frumpy cardi and equally frumpy flats into a hotel reception in the hope that staff think your too much of a bore to be whoring.  You shuffle to the lift and can be out of them and into the highest heels and slinky dress by the time the lift goes ping on the 1st floor.  ****Whist of course praying your client isnt knocking around the lobby****

I have to try this one.  I guess if you look all mousey and boring they will never suspect that you are a lady of the night.

[pussycat]

You wear a long frumpy cardi and equally frumpy flats into a hotel reception in the hope that staff think your too much of a bore to be whoring.  You shuffle to the lift and can be out of them and into the highest heels and slinky dress by the time the lift goes ping on the 1st floor.  ****Whist of course praying your client isnt knocking around the lobby****

Yes!

And when I'm staying in hotels on non-business I forget it doesn't matter what I dress like and still find myself rushing past reception straight to the lifts!

[Rainbow24]

Every man you see, any age, any situation is, in your head, a man who uses escorts. You look at every single guy & wonder who he pays for sex, or if he'll be walking through your door tomorrow.
You see happy couples of all ages & feel sorry for the girl because you know what the guy's like.
You will never trust a man to be faithful ever again.
In every handbag, coat, kitchen drawer, and in every nook & cranny in your car, there are condoms!
Your handbag is twice as big as anyone elses.
You find random ?20's in all sorts of places, and the odd ?150 tucked away!
You know in your heart that no guy will ever want to be with you, coz they'll never see past the job.
You have the same conversation, answer the same questions, over & over & over... day after day... week after week lol
You have loaddddsss of money & can afford to get nice things & have nice treats & go nice places
You havn't got time for a life of your own, and when you do get a couple of hours to yourself, you just mong out & do nothing... coz you just don't have the energy to talk to anyone.
You go for a night out, get irritated with all the gorgeous guys chatting you up, and wish they'd piss off & leave you alone!
You're off on a night on the town with your mates, but you don't bother to shave or make too much of an effort... coz the last thing you want to do is pull!
It's a luxury not having to shave on your day off!
You really lose respect & faith in men & love.
When you have normal unpaid sex there's a little voice in your head saying "I could be getting ?150 for this, why am I giving it away for free?!"
When the subject of sex comes up with your friends, you rule the conversation!
None of your washloads are normal clothes, it's all underwear!
You go clothes shopping... and come back with even more underwear!
You don't have a life, because after a week of full time entertaining, talking nonstop, and giving every bit of yourself away, you just can't be bothered to go and socialise... especially as you're not getting paid for it!
When everything in your head revolves around sex... and you forget not to assume that everyone else is the same!
When you're lonely & isolated & feel like you're under the radar of a normal life.
When, unexpectedly, your doorbell rings when you weren't stood there waiting for it for the first time in 6mths... and it totally freaks you out... if it's not a client then who in the hell is it?!
When you can't switch off on your day off.
When even unpaid sex doesn't turn you on, in your mind, anymore, coz it's work.
When dates are pretty much identical to work... except they go on too long, and you don't get paid for it, so you stop going on them!
When your shopping basket consists of: condoms, lube, baby wipes, chewing gum, mouthwash,  3 ready meals, loo roll, milk, battries, male shower gel, razors, and that's it, twice a week... so you alternate between all the tesco's, asda's, & sainsbury's all over the city!
You're sooo paranoid about losing your phone!
When you're financially independent, and don't want, or need a man in your life... coz you earn more than them anway!
When every time you take a job the thought briefly flits through your head that it could be really dangerous, before you block it out.

[Ellie_e]

You've used silicon lube as hair serum

[orchidperfume]

you get a sex session with a  hot sexy non client and feel bad afterwards, as he didnt pay for it !

[ladyjennaj]

You go out on girl's nights and aren't looking for sex. Because it's your day off.