If you don't want to take any advice from this thread then there is plenty of information on the main Saafe site about tax
Great post, Mellow.
I know this can be a sensitive issue but I think that a lot of very fair advice has been given in this thread. And to add the link to the main site, just so it's really easy to find for anyone who might be reading this thread who hasn't visited it before, it's:
http://www.saafe.info/The article on there (under Information for Escorts > Paying Tax, I believe) contains information about how to declare your profession (you don't need to say "I DO SEX ACTS FOR A LIVING!!", so don't worry about that, and at no point is any professional accountant or HMRC employee going to email your mum and describe your personal financial situation to her so even if you declare your profession with the utmost accuracy, nobody else will find out about it) - and how to keep track of your income and outgoings.
If you've got into a difficult situation, it's always best to find an accountant ASAP. It is their job to help all sorts of self-employed people get their financial affairs into order and if you say you're a Masseuse or Online Performance Artist then they have absolutely no right to stick their nose in or make any comments. If you aren't sure whether you can claim for things like condoms/outfits/internet payments on your taxes (you can only claim for things that are considered relevant to your declared profession), just ask them. No sane accountant would be like, "OOOH WHY DO YOU ASK? TELL ME A SEXY STORY!" because if they did, you'd obviously just fire them (and maybe sue them), and find a new accountant who knows what professional conduct actually is.
Accountants are a bit like escorts, except that
we are their clients. If you don't like one or think they have a bad attitude, just move on to another one of the five million of them that are working in this country and who are more than happy to be super-nice to you in exchange for their fees.
Oh, which reminds me - do make any potential new accountant describe their fees in great detail before hiring them; some might work for an hourly rate while some might work at a fixed rate, and you'll want to compare the likely total costs of each before picking the right person for you.
Finding an accountant is actually quite a lot of fun, especially since - with the right one - you can feel like you are acquiring a team member, someone who can give you loads of handy advice and who will, most importantly, fill out all those nasty forms for you. I know many, many working women do their own taxes but I'm one of the ones who feels like a little tiny rabbit cowering in the face of HMRC-Scary-Goliath (even though they are actually really nice; you can even ring them directly with tax-related questions and they will be extremely civilised in their response) so I like having some backup.
