Stephanie -with all my respects- you keep repeating like a mantra you came here seeking advice but it doesn't really seem that way. Let me explain myself: You enter (mainly a proffesional) WG forum stating you have a plan to spend a night with a stranger you've met over the internet for 350 pounds. Then you get all these replies from very experienced women telling you a) It's not safe (specially because you've never done this before) b) they guy screams TW or boundary pusher and b) You're being cheated with the money. Despite all this valuable info you decide to listen to nobody and stick to your plan. It doesn't sound to me like you are seeking advice... but more like "I'm informing you that this is what I'm going to do". Where's the "advice seeking" part?
Ana, I understand where your frustration is coming from but it is inappropriate to express it here in a newbie's thread. If you are upset or annoyed about something you read on SAAFE, please keep it to PMs or your own personal writing space. This forum is for helping
all newbies and it does not matter whether we've heard the same questions before (why should we attack a newbie for not knowing this?!) or whether we think the person is not genuine or if we think the person is not reacting correctly to the advice we are giving them.
Either offer help or do not post at all.The others in this thread have managed to post supportively and helpfully despite the fact that, as experienced professionals who've all been ripped off in some way or another when we were new, we all desperately wish we could avoid the same thing happening to someone new. That does
not, however, give us the right to demand that the new person do as well tell them or make accusations about them if they choose not to nod along obediently.
Stephanie, I'm glad you were able to return to this forum. Everyone here posts because they care about newbies, even though it can come across in a bit of a difficult way sometimes. I apologise for any antagonistic posts in this thread. I'm very glad you're still here and still reading. There are posters in this thread who've written lots of extremely good advice - but, as they've also noted, this is
your decision. Any booking that you take should be 100%
your decision. As long as you are able to access the sensible advice on the main site (
http://www.saafe.info) and the advice from all the hundreds of threads in this forum created by other newbies, then you will be armed with a wider perspective for making this decision and that means we've done our job here.
While I know how it feels to be ripped off (I worked for agencies when I started and they totally failed to educate me on avoiding getting ripped off, and even encouraged me to take the fee at the end of the booking because it was apparently "classier" or some such nonsense), I don't now feel any remaining negativity towards the people who ripped me off. The clients and the agents who made my early experiences in the industry into "learning experiences" have done me a favour; by being selfish and slightly evil, they taught me a huge amount about what to avoid nowadays! Sometimes I feel I would give my left leg if only there were some way to stop all vulnerable newbies from being targets to these many, many evil & selfish people who will rip you off and use you up and toss you aside without a second thought (which sounds very dramatic but is actually tediously common in this world, as you'll probably be aware due to learning about your sister's experiences) - but I accept now that this is impossible.
Instead, I simply rant at newbies to be sure to have security buddies and to read-read-read everything on the main site and this forum so they can,
if they wish, draw upon the good & bad experiences of dozens and dozens of experienced sex workers in order to make more informed decisions in their own lives.
You've said that you are doing both of these things (and other posters in this thread have covered the myriad of other issues potentially at play here far more adeptly and sensitively than I could), so aside from reminding every single forum member one last time that antagonistic, angry or rude responses to newbies' threads makes the whole forum look bitchy, witchy and unwelcoming - SO PLEASE DO NOT DO IT - I am just going to wish you genuinely all the best with whatever (very informed!) decision you decide to make. And please feel free to continue posting here to let us know about your progress and any further questions you have, if you wish.
