How not to book an escort,world championships!

[Guiltypleasure]

email from AWank today:

'Morning gorgeous, fancy making babies today?'

 

Oooh !!! I'm assuming you said yes 

[Hannaah]

Saw your aw, you free for some facefucking?

Just because I advertise this doesn't mean you can introduce yourself that way to me!

u offer dom sph?...When my entire profile is centered around offering sub services.

And one who seemed to communicate well in email until providing him with my number to call to book. Asked if I was available in the morning and was told I wasn't available until 1.30pm earliest, to text "I'd like to see you before 12." Ignored that because I clearly just said that wasn't possible, and then later on when checking messages find 6 calls and 8 texts between 1.10 and 1.24pm. Some of them simply saying "hanna" and "?!?" Pass!

[Justine]

I've got a bagful of swimmers here and guess where they want to swim?

    and yet more 

[Funkymonkey]

Saw your aw, you free for some facefucking?

Eurgh yes disgusting. ?Are you free to open your mouth and let me fuck your throat for half an hour?
I replied ?wow what a tempting offer!?

[wishlist]

hi hun, hope you doing well

would you be interested to spend sometime say a weekend or a long holiday in newcastle, north east uk, with me ?

i will bear all costs related to travel, hotel, meals but no other costs. you could treat this as your very own escort tour and do outcalls or as an all expenses covered holiday break

i am a very sweet, soft spoken, nice 30 plus guy who works in an office full time. i stay single in very posh 4 star hotel accommodations around newcastle town centre or gateshead quayside

whatsapp me on *********** if interested

 

[Dynamite Doll]

I've got a bagful of swimmers here and guess where they want to swim?

    and yet more 

I would of replied - UP YOUR  OWN MOUTH MATE! -

[wishlist]

Hey gorgeous... how are you? hope you are well and having a good weekend.. I'm a pretty normal guy.. I take good care of my body, I work out, I have a big appetite and a lot of stamina.. Im new to escorting and AW.. you are stunning.. I'd love to get to know you and maybe even have some fun .. have a look at my profile..If I seem like your type and if you fancy catching up...or if you even if you need someone to work or do some filming with then let me know.. Dan x

Yet 1 of many idiot messages today 

[MsLadyV87]

text message...... 'Good evening babe'

Oh look, there goes a tumbleweed roll past!!  lol

[Rosesugar]

Hi can I come see you this evening
Me no sorry I finish at 4 today
Oh can I come see you at 3
Me no sorry I have a booking at that time
Oh can I come at 5pm   
Bye bye

[honeymoonbarbie]

hi hun, hope you doing well

would you be interested to spend sometime say a weekend or a long holiday in newcastle, north east uk, with me ?

i will bear all costs related to travel, hotel, meals but no other costs. you could treat this as your very own escort tour and do outcalls or as an all expenses covered holiday break

i am a very sweet, soft spoken, nice 30 plus guy who works in an office full time. i stay single in very posh 4 star hotel accommodations around newcastle town centre or gateshead quayside

whatsapp me on *********** if interested

 

I got this one while I was touring Sheffield, my response was as below:

So let me get this right, you want an overnight with me but don't actually want to pay me for my time.

Should I choose to go on holiday please believe I would choose to do so alone or with actual friends or family and not with a cheap skate stranger who does not respect my job as an escort.

Best of luck with your endeavours, idiot.
 

[honeymoonbarbie]

A couple from earlier via text.

Him: Are you available? Are services x and y included?
Me: Yes, I have availability this evening and I don't charge any extras.
Him: Ok wil be for half hour can send address please are English? Don't want no (mentions area in Europe)
Me: Am I Caucasian? No, but my pictures clearly show that. Considering my profile mentions that I'm British and my written and spoken English is better than yours, I think it's safe to assume that I am, indeed, "English".
Him: *silence*

Him: What's your postcode?
Me: *provides postcode* If you'd like to arrange a booking please give me a time and duration so that I can confirm my availability.
Him: I want an hour, I'll phone when I'm on my way.
Me: Unfortunately that's not going to work, I'll need you to give me a time so that I can confirm that I can actually see you and won't have you or any other client waiting around.
Him: *silence*

[MsLadyV87]

Just got this email on AW

Hi I just wanna be a slave no sex just a cuckold slave you can do what ever you like see other clients watch tv anything for the day I'll tibrute ?50 you don't have to do anything just relax

my reply

First act of you being my slave is....to read my profile properly and look at my rates! Thank you

 

[Katiexxx]

Phone call:

Twat: where are you?
Me: ehmmm..in the park
Twat: Which park?
Me: xxxx park
Twat: ok babe I am comming
Me: oh ok can't wait come on hurry up
Twat: Where i can find you
Me: on the bench number 3
Twat: see you shortly

5 mins later twt texting
Twat: I am outside of the gate -  park xxxx (liar as i can see the park gate from my window)

[MsLadyV87]

Had a couple of texts in the 'wee hours of the morning'

"wot a body ru for real" (err no I am a robot but still needs sleep)

"you English" (s? pero estoy dormido= yes but I am asleep)

"you working" (maybe but in the land of nod)

 

[JustAnotherHooker]

I got this one while I was touring Sheffield, my response was as below:

So let me get this right, you want an overnight with me but don't actually want to pay me for my time.

Should I choose to go on holiday please believe I would choose to do so alone or with actual friends or family and not with a cheap skate stranger who does not respect my job as an escort.

Best of luck with your endeavours, idiot.

I got the very same email so hez clearly doing the rounds.  I told him that I don't tour & never will and even if I did then I still wouldn't take him up on his offer!!


Cheeky get.