Saving enough to get out of relationship

[prettywoman__1541]

No one can say what is right or wrong with regards to having a relationship.........

Some people are more open then others with regards to sex so we cannot generalise one way or another as it all boils down to the individual.  What one man will accept, maybe another will not. 

The lying is something a lot of us are having to deal with every single day, whether it's lying to our partners, lying to our families, lying to our friends............. it's not easy by any means and I don't think any of us can really advise on what anyone else should/shouldn't do because it's how WE live it and how WE cope with it.

With regards to the OP, is there anything you can do perhaps to change your living arrangement?  I am a bit confused though because you say you can't do outcalls but are having to lie about where you are going ?  If you are living with him, can you not invent some form of work that you are doing ?  Maybe on a temporary basis so he can't physically locate you to a place of work? 

Hope that helps 
Jenny

When I leave for outcalls I make sure I leave for a few hours & dont come back. That works. But I cant be gone for days/weeks at a time that will raise eyebrows & checking into a hotel for a few hours is a waste of $ to me

[shatteredpan]

Well, my boyfriend and I were really close friends before we started going out, so he knew what I was doing for work before we got together. When we got together, he convinced me to quit for a little bit... but then we ran into money problems. The way we work with it is I stay in contact with him, and I make sure I communicate with him. We're very honest and open with each other.

He laid down some rules that I follow ? for example, I can't have full-on sex. I explained to him that, to me, it really is all about the money ? the sex is pretty much meaningless to me, it's just a way to survive.

However, this is all happening under the assumption that I will quit as soon as we've raised enough money. No way would he let me keep this job lol. Nor would I really want too, if I'm gonna be with him. Some guys are really accepting if you sit down and explain it to them. I think if a guy loves you, he'll let you do what you need to do to survive...

[S.Ebony]

My boyfriend knows what I do and although I wouldn't say he's thrilled with my line of work he accepts it but I have promised him I won't this any longer than I need to be and he does act as security during my evening bookings and while he's at work I make sure to let him know when I have a client and how long the booking is for as I know he worries about my safety alot.

I think communication is a big part of any relationship but in with this job I think you both have to be on the same page if not it will never work, I think it works for us as we were together 2 years before I even started so I know I can  tell him anything but I couldn't imagine going on dates while in this industry I'd be worried about the reaction I'd get back.

[prettywoman__1541]

Im sorry if this topic came up a million times but Im in a toxic relationship and need to get out. I decided (thanks some a member of saafe cnt.remember her name) that Im going to save my $$ live in a hotel until iHave 3 months rent & a deposit.

About how much would you reccomend I save before its ?safe? to move out & on

[amy]

PW, I've merged this with your other thread on virtually the same subject - please remember that this is a sex work forum, and try to keep any further discussion at least loosely connected to the topic.

I doubt anybody could answer this question further than the three months you've already set yourself - we don't know you or your area, how much your living costs are or how much you need to run your business? I'd say three months is about right if you're not in immediate danger but there's no way of putting a figure on it.

[PoshTotty]

Prettywoman, have you tried posting on Mumsnet (http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships)? They have a really good relationship forum where you will get all the advice you need about escaping your toxic relationship. I'd advise not telling them you're a prostitute though as they can be a bit funny about it 

[Jenny 2]

PW

Why don't you try to save up as much as you can and if need be maybe do a flat share with someone or rent a room in a shared house (obviously you would need to look into this carefully beforehand) and at least  then your outgoings would not be too much. 

You could also then possibly rent a hotel room for incalls now and then or try to do outcalls only, although in my opinion and experience, incalls are the in the majority as opposed to outcalls.

Oh I just re-read your post as I misunderstood, so you are planning to go to a hotel asap?  Well if you can afford to do that, then do so and at least you can work from the hotel then.  May be a good idea to move around a bit and not stay in one too long at a time, so housekeeping and staff don't catch on to what you are doing. 

When I was working out of hotels in one area, I would book one week at a time and move from one to the other. That way, I felt a bit more at ease but of course the decision is entirely yours.  I just felt one week at a time was enough and then moved to another so kind of did the rounds of a few but felt better that way so no one could potentially be alerted to what I was doing.

I don't know the in's and out's of your relationship but if you feel you need to get out then try to plan to do so sooner then later because the longer it goes on then the harder it is to leave.

No one should stay in a relationship if they are not happy.