What to do when you lost motivation

[Londonergirl]

Hey everyone,

Its been a while since I last visited the forum. I would like some advice as I feel stuck in this job lately.
I feel that I lost any motivation to do normal job again and I feel frustrated at myself because of this. I also feel I am fed up with this job but when I think about the freedom it gives and the money I just don't want to work anything else. My eyes start yo-yoing when I think that I will earn the same money in 3-4 days with normal job, and with this job its 1hour.
What to do?

[kinkyboots]

You could always 'reinvent' yourself to spice things up a bit if you're feeling a bit 'meh' about it but don't want to quit. When i took a couple of months out of escorting and came back i loved being the new girl again and taking on a new persona. You tend to get an influx of attention too which is always a bonus.

You could always dip your toes into a different kind of escorting, for example if you are GFE you could try your hand at domme services. You don't need a dungeon and I know dommes are really popular where i am.

Webcamming is also motivational when you see the amount of credits you earn on AW in a short period of time. I got 70 credits for tapping away at my keyboard for just half an hour, doing that between appointments could be really lucrative 

I also feel I am fed up with this job but when I think about the freedom it gives and the money I just don't want to work anything else. My eyes start yo-yoing when I think that I will earn the same money in 3-4 days with normal job, and with this job its 1hour.

I definitely know what you mean. There's been a few occasions where i've felt like hanging up my stockings but the money has always persuaded me not to 

[TheChemist]

BBW why don't you sign up for an evening course/college course in something you're interested in? If you enjoy learning and start to formulate an emergency escape plan you won't feel so stuck, whether or not you choose to take it. I think in always suffer emotionally when I feel my whole life is work!

I've been considering domme-ing and looking at courses (can you tell I'm a geek) but humiliating men realllly turns me on. I think a small part of me would feel guilty taking money from it, and some of it looks like a lot of responsibility!

[Londonergirl]

Thank you for your replies.

Def I need to think a lot more it seems :/

TheChemist I am in uni going final year. Problem is I don't feel like I will work in my chosen field in the future
Or I am just depressed don't know. Might be looking for counseling soon.

[mimi_]

Sorry you're having a rough time. Check out to see if your Uni offers a free counselling service. Mine did and it was fantastic (and much quicker than going through my GP) x

[Londonergirl]

went to uni counseling already where I was told I am OK and actually the person did not understand why I came in the first place :/
i am thinking private counseling now.

[TheChemist]

went to uni counseling already where I was told I am OK and actually the person did not understand why I came in the first place :/
i am thinking private counseling now.

I went to mine too at one point and they were naff. And my uni is absolutely rolling in cash - really sucks!

Different things work for different people but I find hobbies (for me running, cycling and cooking) help give me a zest for life. And then I remember that this job (when I'm not in uni!) is what gives me time to pursue them. Otherwise I have a tendency to live to work rather than work to live.

Good luck BBW!

[Ieaio]

Not sure where to put this but:

Watch some motivationals on youtube, some are better than others, I like the dude: Eric Thomas. Omg so glad I came across it lol. You know the kind, happy black dudes shotuing positive messages. Hell it's gotten me through the looooonnngg work days. I set a high goal this month so it's been a toughey, I just listen to it while I'm doing my makeup. I'll be like hmm I duno, I'm not working today to OH HELL YEA IM SO UP FOR MY CLIENT RIGHT NOW YEAA BRING IT ON, I CAN EVEN HANDLE THE ASS HOLES. Knocks burn out right out the court if you listen to enough of them.

[Lushblossom]

I book a deep tissue massage when I need to help relax/switch off etc.

I also listen to music and/or play the piano and watch some tv/films - very therapeutic for switching off is a film!!

Feeling demotivated is quite usual in any job and you are right to keep in this field given that we have more money and more time for ourselves and for our hobbies/interests etc.

I find if I don't write down on my list to relax each day and/or pursue one of my hobbies (also yoga classes) then they don't get done.  That way it prevents build up of stress better.  Even one hour of pure me time daily relax can help.

[cheesypeas]

I join a short course gives me a breather new mates,
new focus etc...musical theatre at the mo.

[Silencieuse]

Before escorting I had an elaborate life plan of what I would do with the income (graduate school, career, hobbies, finding friends, relationship etc). Now after a few years, I've become more and more lazy. I can't seem to find motivation to study, and couldn't care less about the vanilla day jobs I've tried for career experience. Research topics I used to love have lost their appeal.

I'm thinking maybe I have already made enough income to support myself and buy what I want (have a spending habit though - from boredom), and it's more than what I would make after graduate school, but I can't stay a WG forever.

My other sp friend has been in the same rut and when we are together all we do is eat and laze around/sleep, usually cancelling appointments and wasting time.

I feel I may be just uselessly whining but this has gone on for over a year now, and it's hard to talk about with civvy people. I travel a lot and finally understand the loneliness/boredom those travelling business men feel lol.

Has anyone else had these problems? How did you get motivated in life outside of sex work?

[VoluptuousCurves]

I think it's because the money is so good that you get this kind of "oh I can't be bothered to work today, I can just work longer tomorrow" or you feel like you deserve extra days off because the job can be so tiring sometimes.

I like to set myself mini goals for income, with a specific purchase in mind. At the moment I'm throwing everything towards being able to replace my car. My current car is pretty poorly and not reliable so I can't go more than about an hour away from home, and my son lives 4 Hours away. At the moment I visit him one week of every month and have to hire a car every time, so it's costing me about ?100 extra. If I can replace my car I can immediately get rid of that cost. Also can buy something with phone Bluetooth in the car - if I'm in my own car I don't have this and miss arranging bookings while I'm driving.

Once I've got the car then my next goals are to pay off my credit card and personal loan, then start amassing savings so I can relocate closer to my son, with the idea being to rent a work flat separate from my home.

After that the eventual plan is to buy several houses and rent them out, giving me a long term income.

I find it really helps with motivation to have visual reminders of what I'm working towards. I've already decided what car I want to buy and I have a picture of it as my background on my laptop. I use right move every day browsing flats and houses where I want to move. It keeps me focussed on my plan.

[mature helen]

VC is right in having a goal and plan to reach it is the way to go. For that you need to have a Positive mental attitude. Work towards something mine is now the rewiring of my flat and the holiday I'm going to be taking whilst its being done, that's next year so I'll need about ?3,500 spare to do it. If you don't have something to work towards you will become lazy minded (cant be arsed) and lost (Why are I doing this}.

[Roxy101]

Yup, that's the way forward. Make goals. Even if there's nothing particular you want right now. Just set yourself a weekly target. So at the end of the week, if you've worked hard and hit the target, you can either work and make extra or take the day off without feeling guilty. However, we do all get the odd day or week that we just can't be bothered to work. It's natural because this job can be very draining sometimes

Lola
Xx

[mature helen]

The answer to the question is quite simple if you have lost your motivation you can find it again by making goals of what you want out of life and set out a plan to work towards them. A new car, a house, a business, to retire etc

People who do not have plans IMO are flotsam and jetsam bobbing around on life's ocean doing nothing much with their life unless and until they pull their finger out, plot a course if where they want to go and start steering towards it, if you prefer to and 'take each day as it comes' you will 'float' through life losing your mojo along the way without gaining/achieving anything important because when opportunities are gone they are gone.
This is my experience and my opinion.