Difficulty maintaining boundaries [was: Played]

[jellib33]

Hello everybody.

I was just wondering what your thoughts may be on crossing boundaries yet again. Getting played by clients, or how does that work when it appears that they're so interested in you and as soon as you show interest in them, they run away, because they think you are lying. As an escort are we not allowed to express emotions? This is why I hate the client/escort dynamic, because it's supposed to seem so real yet it is so fake. I cant even think of the words to describe it. All I know is that I'm done with the debauchery. I've had too many clients who I really thought they'd be interested in me. Turns out i get played. Can't wait till I get out of it. The words to explain it sometimes are indescribable. Anyone have some thoughts on the subject.

[Dollars]

 they play you  when your are at work and they will play you when you are not working , so may as well take the money and run

[Mirror]

It's a no strings relationship.

Do you mean you've tried to become involved with a client?

[Rosesugar]

Hi are you taking of meeting these men for dates instead of bookings ?
Just get What you can out of these guys as clients if they take the piss please don't pursue them it's too much unnecessary haste .
 

[seraphine]

.

[Kay]

I think from some of your previous posts it's clear that you've struggled to view sex work just as WORK and have instead blurred lines in terms of 'romantic' relationships with clients. That's your prerogative, but of course it means you're much more likely to experience disappointment and emotional distress.

Would you expect to begin a fulfilling emotional and physical relationship with your dentist, hairdresser, gynaecologist or accountant? No. Clients are just that - clients. They pay you, you fuck them, you both go your separate ways until next time.

[LotusFlower]

I think from some of your previous posts it's clear that you've struggled to view sex work just as WORK and have instead blurred lines in terms of 'romantic' relationships with clients. That's your prerogative, but of course it means you're much more likely to experience disappointment and emotional distress.

Would you expect to begin a fulfilling emotional and physical relationship with your dentist, hairdresser, gynaecologist or accountant? No. Clients are just that - clients. They pay you, you fuck them, you both go your separate ways until next time.

Exact this. I got into a short term thing with a client, and I say client in the loosest of terms - because we had only met professionally once and he had never dabbled in this. He wanted to explore BDSM, or rather, recreate a BDSM relationship he had once. We clicked instantly, he didn't try to manipulate me into free sex and he would have been cheaper just booking me for sessions rather than take me on extortionate and elaborate dates, many of which didn't have sex at all. In the end, he went back to his ex, I was left really hurt and feeling humiliated for letting my guard down. Never again.

I would never date a client ever. I don't even think I want to date at all whilst doing this work. Work is work,dating is dating. The two should never really merge, for me anyway.

[Mirror]

I think from some of your previous posts it's clear that you've struggled to view sex work just as WORK and have instead blurred lines in terms of 'romantic' relationships with clients. That's your prerogative, but of course it means you're much more likely to experience disappointment and emotional distress.

Would you expect to begin a fulfilling emotional and physical relationship with your dentist, hairdresser, gynaecologist or accountant? No. Clients are just that - clients. They pay you, you fuck them, you both go your separate ways until next time.

I struggled with this when I first started, then learned it wasn't a good idea. The trick is being friendly providing a good service which maintains the client's fantasy, whilst also making sure you don't become involved.

[jellib33]

Yeah. It's like I suddenly got in this emotionally manipulative situation with a client who I thought was interested in me. He is good looking, but yeah starting off it was really good and the things he would say, I honestly dont know but I really just thought he was into me. Now I'm in some sort of situation where he is emotionally manipulating me and it's taking such a toll to the point where I just want to get out. It's sort of a good thing, I mean now I really am taking action and finding a career so I can put my energy into that and he can leave me alone. It just sucks, it's like, knows my name. I know nothing about him, and I was too nice I respected his privacy never asked him any questions. I know he is a professional person, but I mean yeah, he's just a total jackass, it's interfering with my studying and my outside life I find I am becoming really defensive. He texted me off a texting app. Worst situation but really making me want to get out

[Mirror]

Yeah. It's like I suddenly got in this emotionally manipulative situation with a client who I thought was interested in me. He is good looking, but yeah starting off it was really good and the things he would say, I honestly dont know but I really just thought he was into me. Now I'm in some sort of situation where he is emotionally manipulating me and it's taking such a toll to the point where I just want to get out. It's sort of a good thing, I mean now I really am taking action and finding a career so I can put my energy into that and he can leave me alone. It just sucks, it's like, knows my name. I know nothing about him, and I was too nice I respected his privacy never asked him any questions. I know he is a professional person, but I mean yeah, he's just a total jackass, it's interfering with my studying and my outside life I find I am becoming really defensive. He texted me off a texting app. Worst situation but really making me want to get out

You are only manipulated if you allow him to manipulate you.

[LotusFlower]

Block his number and just don't respond - it's the ONLY way to deal with these types of people. And I mean that in regards to any type of manipulating bastard, not just a manipulating client.

If you want to quit this work for other reasons, then do so. But don't quit just to stop this man getting to you!