Things Clients Do To Annoy!!!

[mature helen]

With new clients I sit on the end of the bed and pat besides me to beckon them over to sit down next to me as new ones are usually nervous and they are happy to sit and chat for a minute to calm themselves down.
I smile to calm them down and we have a little chat in my time, this lets them see I'm calm, friendly above all human.
I explain to them what's available in the booking and confirm my fee. I then ask them if they are ok with that and once they agree I get up and say nicely OK Dave/John/Mike that will be ?xxx, they always jump up and pay readily, after I've got the cash I offer them a hot/cold drink and the use of the bathroom etc.

[Guiltypleasure]

Occasionally a new man will make no move to pay so I politely ask, they smile and say oh yes of course but take their time, making sure they fiddle about putting the jacket on the hanger or untying the shoes first, trying to make me look daft. It does not work as they are the ones not playing the game properly.
 I just stand there and wait because until the cash is in my hand they are not getting so much as a kiss.

I give a little greeting peck as you would a friend ( dependant on my judgement ) if they go for anything else I say one of two things "let's sort the paperwork" if they look blank  it's we need to take care of some business first" and if they're really not sure , they usually get it if I give a big smile and step back away from them , but some just really forget at the start because of excitement etc or nerves so I remind them as nicely as possible .

Then it if that fails I'm blunt , then my whole persona changes , big smile and reassurance etc .

[Fliss]

Almost every single booking lately the guys ask me if I have a boyfriend... hint hint hint...have they all made New Year's resolutions to have escort girlfriends or something   

[Wailing Banshee]

The ones that make it clinical by telling you what they want to do next, like a list of instructions that ruin any chemistry or spontaneity and as erotic as being given instructions on how to assemble a flat pack. Had one last night...

Please can you take your bra off?
I'm going to suck your nipples now
I was playing with his cock- Can you give me oral now?
Now we'll have some sex.
Mid me on top of him- Now I will go on top
Giving him a hand job- Can you go a bit faster?
Now more oral
Can you go deeper?

Just want to say Let me do my thing, we'll get to all these things in good time! I know what I'm doing!

[VoluptuousCurves]

I actually don't mind this WB, I quite like a man who knows what he wants/needs.

I find it more annoying when they clearly want me to do something - but don't communicate it. So I'm left playing guessing games - do you want me to ride you? Do you want to finish with oral? Do you want to wank off over me? Dude, just fucking tell me!

[The_Lynx]

Same as VC, I actually enjoy clear, concise communication in the bedroom. Not a fan of the 'sports commentator' thing, mind, but I people telling me what they'd like makes my job a lot easier.

[nemature]

I like some direction as well what i do not like is when the men do something to me then look up like a puppy and say "did you enjoy that" recurrently

[amy]

I actually don't mind this WB, I quite like a man who knows what he wants/needs.

I find it more annoying when they clearly want me to do something - but don't communicate it. So I'm left playing guessing games - do you want me to ride you? Do you want to finish with oral? Do you want to wank off over me? Dude, just fucking tell me!

Me too. I much prefer this than the ones who just lie there like a dead fish and at least I know what I'm supposed to be doing and they get what they want .

as erotic as being given instructions on how to assemble a flat pack.

That depends what you're building and who you're building it with

[VoluptuousCurves]

Same as VC, I actually enjoy clear, concise communication in the bedroom. Not a fan of the 'sports commentator' thing, mind, but I people telling me what they'd like makes my job a lot easier.

Oh god, my next booking I'm going to be hearing Kenneth Wolstenholme in my head:
"And he's coming into the box... they think it's all over... it is now!"

[SweetAngel]

Messages:
U free
U workin
Postcode?
Hi hun/babe
U available
Can I come now (without having a clue where I am)
How much
I want sex
Etc etc
Over the phone:
Do u like doggy very fast? A lot of girls complain that it's too painfull
My dick is too big, is that a problem?
Do you give good services?
Are u busy now? Are you fuckin someone? 
Etc...
When they come: the list is too long

[pennypittstop]

They just have the mindset that having a man and being married = happiness, it's funny when I tell them that I have a boyfriend and then they say stuff like "If I was your boyfriend I would support you and not let you do this".  Nobody asked your opinion dickhead like my boyfriend is my pimp or something, I can make my own life decisions I don't want some controlling nutcase in my life. They get equally confused when I show ambition saying stuff like I'm a university student and I also work as a freelance graphic designer and illustrator.

I've lost count of the amount of guys who talked about marrying me, like my life would be better living with them in their tiny one bedroom flat staying in all day while they go to work in the factory.

Oh my gosh this is the worst!

Punters can say a lot to me and it just wash off, but when they start trying to take on the role of psychotherapist and start telling you how to live your life, well, the anger builds.

I had one guy recently telling me about what life will be like when I've grown up and have a life, a stable relationship, career, etc.

I swear, if they genuinely think prostitution is so damaging to us, WHY DO THEY COME?

They're basically admitting imo that the don't give a toss if what they are doing is damaging, I think their patronising attempts at life advice are them just making themselves feel better.

(not that prostitution in damaging, but from the way they speak about it they must think it is).

[Lucie268]

Oh my gosh this is the worst!

Punters can say a lot to me and it just wash off, but when they start trying to take on the role of psychotherapist and start telling you how to live your life, well, the anger builds.

I had one guy recently telling me about what life will be like when I've grown up and have a life, a stable relationship, career, etc.

I swear, if they genuinely think prostitution is so damaging to us, WHY DO THEY COME?

They're basically admitting imo that the don't give a toss if what they are doing is damaging, I think their patronising attempts at life advice are them just making themselves feel better.

(not that prostitution in damaging, but from the way they speak about it they must think it is).

As if they think we haven't heard all of that before 

I had another guy the other day get lost, he called for directions and I gave him the correct directions from where he was, he got lost some more because he misinterpreted them, and then when he called again I asked him if he had a smartphone. He then said 'yes, I'll check the satnav on that.' What?! Why would that not be your FIRST port of call?!

[TrashAzn]

I swear, if they genuinely think prostitution is so damaging to us, WHY DO THEY COME?

They're basically admitting imo that the don't give a toss if what they are doing is damaging, I think their patronising attempts at life advice are them just making themselves feel better.

Yeah I never got why they say these things and then pay to see you, if my life is so terrible then stop coming to see me for sex and paying for my terrible existence lol. They all say the same things you hear a million times before with their advice, lost count of marriage proposals. I'm happy with my boyfriend he knows the real me not just some character I play to entertain men for money.

[MissFlint]

One client said I was the least mentally damaged escort he'd ever met.  Even though this was supposed to be a compliment I found it offensive.

Today I had a client who booked for 30 minutes and 20 minutes into the booking he asked if he could come twice.    I explained he could try but I didn't know many men who could come twice in 10 minutes!

[Emma_C]

When they've seen you 6 months ago & don't remember. I said he looked familiar when he came through the door. I've had ones I've not remembered but tat was after a 4 year break. This is first time I've had one not remember me.