Loyalty within a relationship escorting as a double life

[Elizabethanne]

I really need to talk to someone
I have tried escorting fir a week whilst away in a new town
I did really well and made a good wage
But my partner didnt and doesnt kniw

I get through it by seeing it as work
Because it was hard work actually
But although in an ideal world id love to come clean
I know it would be over
I love my partner
And dont wsnt to hurt him
Or lose him
But i also like the lifestyle escorting can provide

Do i give it up and be broke again
Or tell him and risk losing him annd my young daughter whi lives with him.
Because hed see it as betrayal
What should i do?
Is it possible to continue with both
Without stress?
Im already bring asked when im
Going back to the town to escort again

Please anyone
Help
Thankyou
Elizabeth

[Prettywoman]

Hi Elizabeth,

I don't think it's wise to do it behind his back, I know lots of ladies do this, but you need to think about what effect it's going to have on you as a family long term. Although escorting is in no way the same as cheating, it isn't the sex that is the issue here, it's the lies and deciete. You need to ask yourself, is the money worth risking everything for? Because I don't believe it is.
I'm in a relationship myself, but my partner knows what I do, he even drives me to jobs and acts as security for me, but it isn't easy, it does put a strain on our relationship, sometimes he hates it, but understands why I do it, although I know he'd much rather I didn't.

If you feel you can't talk about this with him and come clean, then I would stop. Escorting is fantastic money, but it can be emotionally draining at the best of times, never mind when you're trying to keep it from a partner.

Take care xx

[The_Lynx]

Hi Elizabeth,

I don't think it's wise to do it behind his back, I know lots of ladies do this, but you need to think about what effect it's going to have on you as a family long term. Although escorting is in no way the same as cheating, it isn't the sex that is the issue here, it's the lies and deciete. You need to ask yourself, is the money worth risking everything for? Because I don't believe it is.
I'm in a relationship myself, but my partner knows what I do, he even drives me to jobs and acts as security for me, but it isn't easy, it does put a strain on our relationship, sometimes he hates it, but understands why I do it, although I know he'd much rather I didn't.

If you feel you can't talk about this with him and come clean, then I would stop. Escorting is fantastic money, but it can be emotionally draining at the best of times, never mind when you're trying to keep it from a partner.

Take care xx

Agreed with all of this.

Are you 100% sure that he'd break it off if you told him? If so, then if you keep hooking, you're plainly speaking stringing him along into a situation he did not consent to. That's not really fair on him I'd say.

[Lady_Lust_XXX]

Ive got to agree with the other ladies too Elizabeth.

There are some people who can  live with the deceit and stress but on reading your post I don't think you are one of them.

If you value your relationship and really don't think your bf would understand I would get out of prossying before you get in too deep. You could slip up at ant time and it all comes out and your  relationship is over, no job is worth that.

You got away with it last week but how often could you do that for?  No one knows. Enjoy the money you made but be very careful your partner doesn't notice you spending more than normal and ask where it came from.

Good Luck.
 

[Dani]

A good relationship is built on trust and will eventually fail if one of you is always lying unless you have no guilt over it at all which is rare.  Our partners know us well and will know when something is up, mine does straight away as he can read me better than I can and I expect your partner will be the same.  He will know something is bothering you and if you deny it he will then know you are hiding something.  It will eventually cause so much distrust it isn't worth it. 

Put it another way, how would you feel about your partner having sex with lots of women for money and you finding out off a friend or co worker and him never telling you?  Its not even the sex its the lies and betrayal that destroys relationships. 
sex with someone can be forgiven but you never ever forget when someone has lied to you as you never believe anything they say ever again.

either stop escorting or talk to your partner and see how he would feel if you were to start doing it.  You don't need to say you have already tried it just ask his opinion on it as you both need more money
However remember the risk of losing your partner and destroying your daughters family is a big one and is a bit of extra cash really worth it if he doesn't want you to do it?

[poppy14]

Hi

In my experience boy friends and escorting don't mix its sad as we are just like any women.
men find it very difficult  to understand. I've had a terrible time with a ex who abused me for years because ' i was just another whore!' although he encouraged me to escort and even took me to bookings.
I've finally gotten rid of him but of course before he left he told all my noisy neighbours 'I was on the game'.
I've not worked for months because of him and I am no scared to put up a new profile on Adultwork in case he sees it and causes me any more trouble.

I would think carefully about weather you think he would stand by you and if you don't think he would then think about weather he means more to you than your work.

I hope you work it out, as we may be 'whores' but we are sill women and deserve the same as the rest.

[RachelR]

I've gone backwards and forwards on this one myself.

While a partner may not like what you do he may still be able to accept it, but my question is, what happens if you have an argument or go through a rough patch, will he always cast it in your face ? After all they are only human.
Or worse still, like Poppy14 had happen, he tells all your neighbours,etc !?!

But then again if you don't tell your partner, and he later finds out, then I think there's a good chance you could lose him forever coz he wouldn't be able to trust you again, even if he says he can he's bound to be wondering what you're up to when he's not there.

After much thought, I think I will remain single while escorting and if, per chance, after I've hung up my stockings for the last time, I happen to meet someone, I don't think I will ever tell him I did this job. 

[Miss exotic]

From my personal opinion I think it's either escorting or relationship. Both at once didn't work for me as I couldn't put up with the guilt and making stories/lies up all the time-it drove me crazy.

Truth always comes out in the end. The sensible thing to do is question yourself whether you love him enough to give escorting up for him? That's how I made my decision and realised I loved escorting more as he couldn't give me what I wanted.

Amira x