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Author Topic: They said what???  (Read 200822 times)

wishlist

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #450 on: 19 January 2018, 02:25:59 pm »
so iv just had a booking with this young man (25) and when he didn't open his mouth he was quite pleasant and he said 'il have sex and oral protected please' I said ok (sex is protected regardless if they want otherwise or not) so as I was putting the condom on for oral he says 'if I saw you in a club we wouldn't be using a condom for oral but because you do what you do' I just looked at him thinking what to say for a sec, then said 'you do know sex workers get orally swabbed each month' He seems rather taken aback and just said oh really  :FF
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seraphine

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #451 on: 20 January 2018, 11:33:22 am »
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« Last Edit: 22 January 2019, 04:06:36 pm by 80s synthetic »
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VoluptuousCurves

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #452 on: 20 January 2018, 03:30:29 pm »
Quote from: 80s synthetic on 20 January 2018, 11:33:22 am
Text message from a client:

'You truly are a magnificent masseuse! Probably the best I have ever met.
I would like to converse with you by email as I feel you are such a special person.
Please drop me an email on... '

I mean, do I really look so miserable that someone might think that if they tell me I'm special I will become their pen pal?!  ??? >:(

I think I'd have to reply to that with "We've never met, love. And now we never will."
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

seraphine

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #453 on: 20 January 2018, 04:47:53 pm »
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« Last Edit: 22 January 2019, 04:03:38 pm by 80s synthetic »
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VoluptuousCurves

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #454 on: 20 January 2018, 04:58:06 pm »
Young Asian lad. Arrives in the room and says "I love MILFs!" Fair enough, that's how I advertise.

2 mins later, "You look really like my mum!" (I'm white)

2 mins after that, "I love incest!"

 ::)
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

little-minx

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #455 on: 22 January 2018, 12:08:08 pm »
A much older guy I've seen on a number of occasions messaging me to say goodbye as I'm leaving this week.  Nice message. Then proceeds to say he would liked to take me out for a meal, and if I'd wanted to take him home with me after the meal for some sex then he would have happily obliged.  Why would I take time out of work, to go out for free with some guy more than old enough to be my grandad, then take him home for free sex afterwards...was in such shock I just ignored the message.  Some of these guys really let themselves down with this stuff.  Shame because he was a nice guy but seriously deluded if he thought I was really going to take him up on that. 
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JustAnotherHooker

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #456 on: 24 January 2018, 11:07:09 pm »
Quote from: LisaLisa on 22 January 2018, 12:08:08 pm
A much older guy I've seen on a number of occasions messaging me to say goodbye as I'm leaving this week.  Nice message. Then proceeds to say he would liked to take me out for a meal, and if I'd wanted to take him home with me after the meal for some sex then he would have happily obliged.  Why would I take time out of work, to go out for free with some guy more than old enough to be my grandad, then take him home for free sex afterwards...was in such shock I just ignored the message.  Some of these guys really let themselves down with this stuff.  Shame because he was a nice guy but seriously deluded if he thought I was really going to take him up on that.
I'd say at least 60% of guys that pay for sex are deluded!!
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seraphine

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #457 on: 29 January 2018, 12:07:42 am »
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« Last Edit: 22 January 2019, 04:07:05 pm by 80s synthetic »
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Rosie13

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #458 on: 29 January 2018, 01:10:15 am »
Him: ?I?m into some really kinky shit, like.?

Me: ?oh yeah??

Him: ?Yeah, I really want you to use me like a toilet roll..?

 ::)
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Kay

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #459 on: 29 January 2018, 10:02:04 am »
Quote from: 80s synthetic on 29 January 2018, 12:07:42 am
I have a session tomorrow.
I was told it will be wise of me not to eat in the morning ('just tea'...), so that we can have a 'better connection'.

 ::)

I'd open the door to him eating an enormous bacon sandwich!
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"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

Justine

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #460 on: 29 January 2018, 11:16:48 am »
Quote from: Kay on 29 January 2018, 10:02:04 am
I'd open the door to him eating an enormous bacon sandwich!

With a generous slathering of garlic sauce  :)
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seraphine

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #461 on: 29 January 2018, 02:39:44 pm »
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« Last Edit: 22 January 2019, 04:07:20 pm by 80s synthetic »
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seraphine

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #462 on: 02 March 2018, 01:43:48 pm »
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« Last Edit: 22 January 2019, 04:07:45 pm by 80s synthetic »
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LittleM

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #463 on: 02 March 2018, 10:45:14 pm »
A regular: Don't you ever get worried that someone is secretly filming you? I mean, I could have a camera stuck up there [points to top of wardrobe] and you'd never know.

Er, it has crossed my mind mate, but thanks for bringing that up & making me feel super awkward.

Another regular: "Er, would you mind leaving now as I've got to meet my mates."
Me: No worries! [I hop off the bed sharpish, happy to leave v.slightly early & go home to get in my jammies]
Reg: Just FYI, I'm going to claim back the 4 minutes from today at our next booking.

Sigh.
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seraphine

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Re: They said what???
« Reply #464 on: 03 March 2018, 10:18:42 am »
~Knickers story~

Last evening - client discusses in detail knickers I will be wearing for the booking today. Emphasis on 'in detail'.

3am - client texts me asking about the knickers.

8.30am - client sends a link asking if the knickers look like this.

9.20am - client wants to meet earlier. I reply - I can't make it earlier. Client asks what knickers will I be wearing.
I say we discussed it yesterday. Client asks for a picture of the knickers. I say I don't have a picture.
He says that he wonders how the knickers look like. I ignore and think about the money.
Client sends me a photo of knickers and asks if they look like this.
No. I can't take it anymore. I text that it's annoying and I cancel.
Client replies - 'Are you serious??'

Epilogue:
I grief loosing the money and consider adding Jack Daniels to my morning coffee.
Client - still texts 'So??'. Presumably wanks over pictures of knickers.
« Last Edit: 03 March 2018, 10:21:17 am by 80s synthetic »
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