How do you get someone out of your mind?

[sweetmilf]

Love is a form of insanity.  Give it some time, you'll wake up soon enough.

[BibiofLeeds]

In my garden , Love is considered a precious flower , not a pest or a weed to eradicate ... So I'm probably unfit to advise about this matter .
I'm surprised though that the consensus here points towards considering any means to obliterate thoughts which for me are just natural and somewhat uplifting .
One more confirmation that my place isn't here ...

Love is not a precious flower when it isn't reciprocated and is an unwanted emotion by the o.p.It can feel intrusive and unwelcome and unpleasant.
Saying that love is never one sided is a rather odd statement to make!
I dare say anybody who has been the victim of stalking would disagree with you there!
It is horrible when you are into someone and don't want to be.
All I can say is keep yourself occupied mentally and as much as it a cliche it is true time is a great healer and your feelings will move on!
Personally when I have been in a similar situation (at the end of a break up I didn't want)I did the cold turkey thing and deleted his number/email address/any communications and ghosted them totally.

[ladyofthemansion]

I have been there. Unfortunately the only thing that cured me was the passing of time. Xx

[meetingdiversity]

Love is not a precious flower when it isn't reciprocated and is an unwanted emotion by the o.p.It can feel intrusive and unwelcome and unpleasant.
Saying that love is never one sided is a rather odd statement to make!
I dare say anybody who has been the victim of stalking would disagree with you there!
It is horrible when you are into someone and don't want to be.
All I can say is keep yourself occupied mentally and as much as it a cliche it is true time is a great healer and your feelings will move on!
Personally when I have been in a similar situation (at the end of a break up I didn't want)I did the cold turkey thing and deleted his number/email address/any communications and ghosted them totally.

This pretty much explains it hence going cold turkey, it is difficult. Usually time will give the op inner strength. It takes me a long time some times to delete a phone number. 

I am at a place now where guys don't interest me for relationships. So this makes it easier concentrating on my goals instead of them getting delayed.

[SheilaStar]

Ladies thanks to all of you for your advice. Being able to talk about this here and knowing that I am not alone makes a difference.

Reading your posts about things I have tried and haven't tried made me realize that there isn't a golden section, but perhaps I need a mix of different approaches to alternate in my situation when one of them doesn't work at a certain time and get back to it again later.

Colette, thanks for your 'feng shui' type of viewpoint. I tried letting things flow in the past and it did help at certain times. It is useful to have a difference of perspectives, as collectively it brings balance. I hope you don't give up on your love for this forum just yet 

Mirror, thank you. I will look up Bowlby's theory!

Lady Lust, I tried a brute approach and brought nothing but misery but I didn't do it gracefully. I agree that an element of selfishness is vital to pull through it.

Sweetmilf, thank you. I agree, this is why people say 'I'm crazy for you'! I 'love' a good cynicism but I hope that doesn't make me insane and cynicism insane  I think sanity and insanity are two sides of the same coin and it depends on the point of view. In our line of work love can be a biologically programmed insanity, especially when it is unrequited. But there are lots of examples of insane things in the world that when we look at them differently and out of the box they have been essential elements of progress and evolution.

Biblio/Ladyofthemansion/Diversity, thank you. It is always good to be reminded that time is a great healer. Things will be ok.

I try to be optimistic thinking that, this experience will hopefully make me stronger and wiser in the long run.

S x

[colette]

Love is not a precious flower when it isn't reciprocated and is an unwanted emotion by the o.p.It can feel intrusive and unwelcome and unpleasant.
Saying that love is never one sided is a rather odd statement to make!
I dare say anybody who has been the victim of stalking would disagree with you there

I'll try to explain my point-of-view , OK ? :
True Love ( not the "infatuation" a stalker feels towards his/her "victim" ) is a form of Energy .
Quantum physics demonstrate quite convincingly that we emit powerful waves that don't stop at any obstacle , so to believe that's one-sided is a major misunderstanding .
In fact , the " vibes " we send around when " we are in Love " have a powerful effect on the environment we live in and the persons we relate to .

[SheilaStar]

I'll try to explain my point-of-view , OK ? :
True Love ( not the "infatuation" a stalker feels towards his/her "victim" ) is a form of Energy .
Quantum physics demonstrate quite convincingly that we emit powerful waves that don't stop at any obstacle , so to believe that's one-sided is a major misunderstanding .
In fact , the " vibes " we send around when " we are in Love " have a powerful effect on the environment we live in and the persons we relate to .

Colette, I agree that our feelings have an effect on others, one way or another. But what you describe is the very definition of one-sidedness when feelings are not reciprocated. In a perfectly altruistic world that would be ok, and even in reality there are times we do selfless acts that can make us feel good.

Assuming you accept the situation and find inner balance; What do you do when one day the object of your one-sided affection decides to stop booking? How do you deal with it?

[Adele7]

I'll try to explain my point-of-view , OK ? :
True Love ( not the "infatuation" a stalker feels towards his/her "victim" ) is a form of Energy .
Quantum physics demonstrate quite convincingly that we emit powerful waves that don't stop at any obstacle , so to believe that's one-sided is a major misunderstanding .
In fact , the " vibes " we send around when " we are in Love " have a powerful effect on the environment we live in and the persons we relate to .

I'm very much into Quantum physics and energy but I do not agree with your statement that love is never one sided. Both Extreme polars of energy can sometimes be interpreted as the same type of energy (because of their polarisation) ie, extreme negative emotions from a person who is hiding behind a bubbly personality can for many be interpreted as very positive energy. Why? Because the intensity is there and a bubbly personality is causing misinterpretation. In such a case the energy that is being drawn together is simply "extreme" (or not) and not necessarily with the same intention.
Another example is the frequency given off with the vibe of excitement. Excitment for one person maybe interpreted as Love whilst for the other it maybe interpreted as Lust or just simply just something that provides some excitement in their maybe not so exciting lives. Those however who interpret this feeling as Drama and like avoiding Drama, will repel the frequency.

The above can also bring into question, what is Love?

[SheilaStar]

The above can also bring into question, what is Love?

Love is selfless 

[Lushblossom]

Sorry to be blunt but I see no sense in continuing to see this man no good will come of it.

[MandyVine]

When I start to feel drawn to anything (person, substance, habit) that causes me to feel I'm unhappy and/or losing control I distance, or completely cut off myself from that thing.  It's the only way for me to restore my sense of peace.

I know it's not easy and I'm wishing you the best.

Mandy

[sweetmilf]

Sorry, I forgot to add "temporary insanity", not a chronic one.    I've had it myself and cured. 

[sweetmilf]

I have been there. Unfortunately the only thing that cured me was the passing of time. Xx

1+++
Time does heal.  Amen.

[SheilaStar]

Thanks ladies x

[Adele7]

When I start to feel drawn to anything (person, substance, habit) that causes me to feel I'm unhappy and/or losing control I distance, or completely cut off myself from that thing.  It's the only way for me to restore my sense of peace.

I know it's not easy and I'm wish you the best.

Mandy

+1