I think this man very deeply touched something within you. Perhaps it's a part of you that didn't have a voice before, that's why it's so strong.
It seems that certain qualities that this man possesses (or you think he does) 'unlock' you.
Some songs and melodies resonate with us stronger and deeper than others, right?
I had a somewhat similar experience with a client and it was like a sickness. Or a brain freeze.
What I found helpful was to try to observe and understand my emotions and where they actually come from while 'riding the wave' as you put it.
I was actually very proud of myself when I understood (on an intellectual level) that this particular man represented my mother's characteristics 
It took me a year to fully understand this emotionally and not be bothered anymore.
I'm not familiar with attachment theory, but the way I see things is that we develop certain emotional patterns during childhood.
And we attract people that fit that pattern.
If there is such a strong, overwhelming/ obsessive feeling, I'd say that it's an emotional void that is asking to be filled.
Something about this guy tells you that he can make you feel complete and fill the void.
I would say that this man happened in your life for a reason and perhaps it's to understand and heal a part of yourself.
A book I would recommend is 'Women who love too much' by Robin Norwood. It brilliantly explains the mechanisms behind infatuations.
In terms of self-development/ therapy/ healing I think it's best to do it on 3 levels:
1. Intellectual: read books, think, contemplate, try to understand yourself
2. Emotional: talking therapy can be great (what worked best for me was group therapy as it opened me up more than individual therapy ever could); talking with a good friend is invaluable, well, people in general can be great teachers.
3. Body: there are bodywork techniques that release emotions and traumas trapped within the body
I very much like your last post and that you've decided to follow your instinct.
Take care 
Thank you, your words resonated in me.
I trust my instinct about people. I have wondered whether I see real qualities, qualities that I 'think' are there, or qualities that are there but have not manifested in him and he doesn't even know they are there.
I have started to wonder whether, at a deeper level, one of the things that attracted me to this job was the 'fake', 'safe' and 'short-lived' intimacy I find occasionally. Or whether I have been deprived, and deprived myself, from the need for intimacy for so long that when I do found it in life I am so starved to give and receive that I have unrealistic expectations of what others can do.
This man is, or I 'think' is, the complete opposite of what my 'guardians' were, which is what is attracting me to him. And it may be stupid but I see a few things of me in him and vice versa. But perhaps I am just seeing things that don't exist and I have been fooling myself that I came across someone special. If this is the case, I'd rather forget him.
What is odd is that when you mentioned 'void' I immediately associated it with a place of calm. But I understand what you meant.
This surely is one hell of a ride.
Thank you very much for the recommendations. I will read the books you suggested. I recently signed up to group therapy as I found that talking here helped a lot.
I found conventional exercise helps cleanse the mind but would love to try something more focused. What kind of bodywork techniques would you recommend? Something like yoga or tai-chi? I tried something similar years ago and it was great. I was thinking of starting the same again but your experience could be very helpful x
Topic: How do you get someone out of your mind? (Read 15008 times)