male escorts

[epstein]

hi all

only just discovered this forum but it has already saved me...i was just about to sign up to escortopia.

i am a male escort looking to work in the Southwest of england...the forum seems to suggest that i won't have much luck, can anyone give me any advice?

i have had a look at the list of agencies that were recommended but they only seemed to want women. i will try calling them but i would really appreciate anyone's help or advice

thanks

epstein

ps has anyone heard anything about 'ideal escorts'?

[Anika Mae]

Ideal escorts is another scam that's very easy to recognise if you know how things work. Please read my post on the subject. http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=385.0

Anyone who tells you that there's a huge market for straight male escorts (or for that matter: that you can find any such work without being exceptional) is a big fat liar who wants to take your money and laugh at how stupid you are.

[epstein]

ha ha, thanks for the warning.

is there no place for me then? do i just give up?

what does it take to be 'exceptional'?

epstein x

[Anika Mae]

There's probably no place for you. Being a straight male escort is not like those scammers have lead you to believe. Have a read of this.

There is a small market for male escorts for women, whether for sex or a perfect date experience. Apparently it's difficult for a women who's looking for this sort of thing to find someone worth paying for, so if you really do have what it takes and you could show that in your marketing, it would be nice to know that the situation has improved slightly.

I would say that what it takes includes being attractive, a good listener, sensitive to what individual women want in and out of the bedroom, and able to apply those skills to women covering a whole range of ages and physical types.

XW5 will probably want to mention that he's known male escorts who cater exclusively to women, but it's a side income, not a living. There was also a man a few years ago who put together a very good website and ran some magazine ads, but gave it up for a bad job after a few months.

So, how much effort are you willing to put into this?

[epstein]

i think i could be really good at it, that doesn't help though if there is no market for it.

do you think it would be about setting myself up as opposed to going through an agency? i'm a little worried about taking that approach as i have no real experience of being an escort. also, i wouldn't know how to go about building a web-site, advertising myself etc and worry that it would be a lot of money to spend to then get no work from it. that is why i was really looking for a reliable agency to help me get started.

i was aware that there is not the same demand for straight male escorts, but i did hope the outlook wouldn't be quite as bleak as it seems. i do consider myself to be a good listener, and i think women (of any age or culture) just want the same things as everyone: to be listened to, to be cared for and respected and to have a good time (whether that be good conversation or dancing).

who is xw5? would he be able to give me any advice? would you know how to contact him?

that attachment is really helpful. thanks

ps it doesn't give any of the names of the few that you do approve of...how can i find them?

[Anika Mae]

A real agency would be a way of getting a foot in with minimum outlay (you'll still need professional quality pictures), but you might not find one that will take you on. There aren't any agencies that cater specifically to women except maybe in London, so you'll have to approach those that offer female escorts and see if they'll put you on their books. There's no harm trying, but you probably won't be the first who's asked, so you're going to have to make a good impression.

i do consider myself to be a good listener, and i think women (of any age or culture) just want the same things as everyone: to be listened to, to be cared for and respected and to have a good time (whether that be good conversation or dancing).

No-one wants the same things as everyone. People are individuals with their own needs and desires, which you should be reasonably good at ascertaining if you're going to be a good companion. (I don't consider myself to be good at this, but I maintain that the standards are higher when it comes to selling companionship to women.)

The stuff you've mentioned is all social stuff. Is that all you expect to do with clients? I don't know enough about the field to know whether that drastically affects your chances or not, but it might be a problem when it comes to hooking up with local agencies. Escort agencies primarily provide sex partners, even if they say they don't.

XW5 used to work for SW5, a project for male and transgendered sex workers. He's a regular poster here.

[xw5]

do you think it would be about setting myself up as opposed to going through an agency? i'm a little worried about taking that approach as i have no real experience of being an escort. also, i wouldn't know how to go about building a web-site, advertising myself etc and worry that it would be a lot of money to spend to then get no work from it. that is why i was really looking for a reliable agency to help me get started.

As ever, what Anika Mae said.

If you do your own website, it need not be expensive. It costs about five pounds to register a domain and you can use free webspace from a variety of places. If you need to learn how to create etc a website, you will get far more benefit from that than you are ever likely to get as a straight male escort.

ps it doesn't give any of the names of the few that you do approve of...how can i find them?

As far as I know, the number of non-scam agencies for straight male escorts to choose between is currently zero.

The single exception I found gave up in mid-2007 - I suspect they spent far more time telling men that they didn't need more staff than talking to women clients for the five or six escorts they did have.

I wouldn't bother even trying to start up such an operation. Part of the problem is advertising: the scammers can outspend any non-scam because it is much, much easier to find optimistic gullible men willing to give you money than it is to find female clients. 20%, 25% or 30% of nothing (or not much) is nothing (or even less)!

There are a few agencies that have primarily female escorts which also have a handful of male escorts. I know of some who are the boyfriends of their female staff. The marginal cost of adding a few male escorts to an existing agency is low in monetary terms, but I'd bet that it has a cost in time going 'No, we don't want any more, thank you' to several men a day.

If the escorts are prepared to see men, they may well get some work (but they'd probably do better advertising in the gay media). If not, I suspect they'd be better off financially on Job Seeker's Allowance.

[prettyboytyler]

I looked at alot of sites including ideal escorts but they were asking for a large amount of money up front.
my friend showed me platinum-escorts.co.uk as he had been using it for a few weeks and had got a job from it.
I joined and got a job after around 4 weeks. since then i have been working a few times a month so id definately recommend the site.
be careful though as many sites are scams!

[xw5]

Hmm, I would categorise Platinum as a 'bad ad site', at best.

It will not even let me look at any profiles - each of which the escorts have paid ?19.99 a month to advertise - unless I pay them ?19.99 too. Realistically, not many people are going to do that especially when there are zillions of sites that won't charge you just for looking.

It also blurs the distinction between an agency (which it tries to sound like) and an ad site (which is what it is) a bit too much for my liking, and looks to be primarily aimed at men wanting to be straight male escorts.

Ah, I've just noticed it will not even let me look at their terms and conditions without paying first!?!

All these push it towards the 'scam' category for me.

[strawberry]

So you outlay ?20 a month and may get 1-2 bookings - value say ?100 each?take off your expenses perhaps travelling and some new clothes/condoms etc and it's not a great payback (?120-150 perhaps?)but not too bad if you want a laugh out of it. Oh and they've had ?20 out of the people that book you.

Platinum Select to cause problems for the escort industry in that they perpetuate the myth of social escorting for women and the age-old fallacy that guys can be sucessful straight escorts. They then head out into the open world thinking they can do this too. The major scary thing is there are females on the message board making it obvious they don't know how to negotiate the sex part, deal with clients, arrange bookings or check their own security. If the site were decent surely they would be briefing them on this - oh, sorry they purport to be promoting 'social escorting' were you earn ?100s for a nice chat and a little company, so they can't do that.

The site is making money hand over fist. ?20 a month is actually more than some of the biggest and well known escort sites around.

[DaisyNectar]

Interesting thread. I have been searching online for over two years now to find straight male companions. I have been a female escort for several years now, and would eventually like to hire someone for myself. I used to be an exotic dancer, and I can't tell you how much fun hiring a male lapdancer for myself was! I imagine it will be similar when I finally decide to take the plunge for a male companion.

I am so interested in growing this market for men that I decided to create a website dedicated to men serving women. I hate being asked to pay to look at anyone's profile or to contact anyone, and I hate sites that feature every orientation possible (believe me, I love that every orientation exists, but when I am shopping for a straight male escort for myself, I don't want to have to wade through a gazillion penis pictures to get to someone in a suit and tie, and who I actually believe would enjoy spending time with me).

So I created a site that I myself would enjoy looking through. I don't charge anyone to be on there, so I am currently pursuing free advertising options. There aren't many such options for this market, though. However, in the US, the HBO show "Hung" just came out, which is perfect for at least creating a dialogue among women who watch it.

So far we have a few pretty successful men on our site. I think the market for men serving women is greater in the UK than in the US, though, and from my web searches, it seems pretty prevalent in continental Europe. We also have a forum where the men can converse with potential female clients, and so far we have a few ladies who are great posters. We even have 3 reviews! 

I honestly believe that there is a potential market- but somehow it has to be created and then promulgated. Women have to realize this is a viable option for themselves, which is the biggest barrier so far. They really don't think about such an idea seriously. But as a sex workers' rights activist as well, I believe that once women do see a place for themselves as consumers in the market for erotic services, it will serve the rights cause very well. Hung will hopefully help with that!

It also doesn't help that not too may men really take this seriously enough to create professional-looking websites and give it a good go before giving up. As a female escort, it took me like 3 months to get my first client, and then I was very successful once I became established. I think women would require "establishment" from a potential male companion moreso than men would from a female. Women want to feel safe- most of us already feel groped and fondled enough in daily life that we don't want to feel that we may have to fight off someone we hire. As my friend Amanda Brooks posted on her blog, most male escorts seem to be "either very old men who are swingers or very young guys who seem likely to steal the stereo on the way out the door." So that may be another reason women don't take this too seriously.

So here's hoping to help create that market! 

[cindy]

I see where you are coming from. However we cannot get away from the fact that a woman would far rather spend ?100 on new outfit in order to go out and pull a man of her own choice herself! Barking up the wrong tree here!

[Anika Mae]

Speak for yourself. If I want to go out I'll go out, but if I just wanted a no strings shag I'd much rather order in. I think it's brilliant that Daisy's managing to set up a community of female service seekers to take some of the risk out of it.

I think it's unlikely that the market's more active over here though, since it's really very small. Daisy, you might have been mislead by all the scam agencies operating and the bollocks magazine articles that they propagate.

[DaisyNectar]

No- I discovered all those when I first started my search, and being a female provider, I could smell the scams a mile away.

My assumption comes because of the men with whom I have been in contact for my community, and from the general feeling of my friend Amanda who just returned from there. Yes, the market is fledgeling- there's no doubt about that at all- but at least it exists with some sort of minute sense of establishment. The French and German markets are even more well-established as evidenced by the numbers of independent men's websites I have found.

Here in the US, you'd be hard-pressed to find a good professional independent's website (I know of three only, and I built one of those! Lol!). You just mostly get grainy penis pictures taken with a cellphone thrown up on www.americanmale.net.  

I think the dearth of good, professional male escorts is a two-prong problem: the men have no clue what they are doing in terms of marketing to women, and women haven't really considered availing themselves of the services yet. I believe it hasn't yet entered their consciousness completely, and when it has, because of the way men have marketed themselves, they get discouraged and give up. So the men with their penis pictures get discouraged and take down their ads, or just switch to the MFM market. Kind of a catch-22.

I'm on a mission, however, to give this the best opportunity I can. It is really selfish on my part: I WANT to have a nice variety of men from whom to choose when I am ready to become a "consumer". Lol!

Now granted, I would never tell a guy to give up his day job to pursue this as a career. At the moment it is necessarily a part-time endeavor. But I am hoping we can grow that market with the right attention.

[DaisyNectar]

Oh dear.

There is someone out there (we will call her S) who has it in for a fellow who advertises on my website, and they think that this fellow and myself are the same set-up. I am posting this here, because I noticed Cindy has been backing S up on another forum (which is popularly believed to be the other fellow's forum, as he seems to have quite a few domains to his name) and claims to know her personally.

The other forum has almost completely copied mine- even so far as using the same theme, having the same names of boards, and has even copied our "guidelines" word-for-word. They even left our name in the guidelines for the longest time (which we let them do because we thought it would make them look silly when people read it and realized they left it in). Recently, they corrected their mistake, however.

I just wanted to come here to let Cindy know we are not related- the site she has been posting on and mine. I haven't posted a link to my site or forum anywhere here because that isn't the point of my posting- my point for posting is to discuss male escorting, period. And I have been receiving nasty emails from this S person, who believes I am the fellow... ugh. And the S person is the same as "roger" who has been spamming my forum to hurt the fellow (they post the same posts word for word).

Full disclosure- I am Holly Brooks (www.hollyadventures.com), am based in the US and NOT in the UK. I am a web designer (I designed my Holly website as well as the site I posted about here, and also James Craig's and Storm Astor's. I didn't make a red cent off any of them, as Storm and James are my friends, and the wesbite I posted about above is my passion and pet project. I have also designed two women's websites (sitaradevi.com and another who has since retired) for which I did get paid (a very small amount).

So Cindy, you said you know this S person on that fellow's forum. Well, she seems to be a crazy spammer. I hope you're mistaken. But if you do know her, perhaps direct her here so she can be relieved of her misapprehensions.