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Author Topic: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?  (Read 8515 times)

CurlsnCurves

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In desperate need of advice. I have a date tonight. Not an escort date, a regular date. I haven't told the guy what I do for a living and he's not asked so it's bound to come up. How do I deal with this? Do I tell him online now before I go and meet him in person, then and leave him to make up his mind whether he still wants to meet or do I meet him and deal with it if it comes up? And how do I tell him? I don't know what to say. There was nothing on my profile alluding to anything sexual let alone being a WG. Help!

Kay

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #1 on: 30 October 2017, 02:37:53 pm »
In desperate need of advice. I have a date tonight. Not an escort date, a regular date. I haven't told the guy what I do for a living and he's not asked so it's bound to come up. How do I deal with this? Do I tell him online now before I go and meet him in person, then and leave him to make up his mind whether he still wants to meet or do I meet him and deal with it if it comes up? And how do I tell him? I don't know what to say. There was nothing on my profile alluding to anything sexual let alone being a WG. Help!

If you're looking for a serious relationship I'd probably tell him either before or during the date - no point in wasting either of your's time if he's going to be freaked out by it.
"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

chocoholicgirl

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #2 on: 30 October 2017, 02:41:09 pm »
I would probably tell him before, if he doesn't like it you both know before you make the effort to get ready etc. Or you could lie if it comes up and tell him the truth as you are leaving after the date, then he gets to find out after you have met and maybe he can make a better decision having met you.

Either way I think the sooner the better, it will only get harder further down the line.

xx

Schwiftysquancher91

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #3 on: 30 October 2017, 03:22:03 pm »
I'm currently on a dating site and it says on there that I'm a sex worker (and has a few t&c for those who want to meet me have to obide by and most have respectfully done so) and no one has batted an eye lid. It's easier sometimes, especially being pan. I can't just walk up to anyone of similar gender and start chatting them up as they might not be as inclined and I don't like 'gay bars' so to speak :-X
« Last Edit: 30 October 2017, 03:23:48 pm by Shwiftysquancher91 »
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Treetop

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #4 on: 30 October 2017, 04:02:11 pm »
I start with saying i cam see what they say, abandon all hope if they get weird or go onto mention escort. One thing i would say is dont bring it up like its a bad thing or it tends to egt taken as a bad thing.
I also tell them first date tbh. Better sooner rather than later imo!

MissBehaving

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #5 on: 30 October 2017, 04:11:28 pm »
Although I admire everyone's honesty , there is no way that I could dilvulge my sex work profession to a virtual stranger , either before or during the first date . There are too many ways that it could come back to bite my arse in my opinion . By the time we've agreed on a date , we would have exchanged face pics , phone numbers, approximate location  and such like and I feel it would be too easy for a disgruntled guy that didn't make the cut to a second date to out me .

jett-setta-go-getta

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #6 on: 30 October 2017, 05:08:05 pm »
plus 1 mb  :)

amy

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #7 on: 30 October 2017, 05:11:31 pm »
I'd have told them before I agreed to the date, assuming they asked. Being outed isn't a concern for me, but nobody can out you if they don't know anything about you bar a picture and a (disposable) phone number anyway :).

Schwiftysquancher91

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #8 on: 30 October 2017, 05:17:28 pm »
I'd have told them before I agreed to the date, assuming they asked. Being outed isn't a concern for me, but nobody can out you if they don't know anything about you bar a picture and a (disposable) phone number anyway :).


Yup. I give a fake name to all potential dates and they know this. It's only until I know who they are and trust them enough. People are more understanding than I realised, if they don't understand they are not the right kind of person for me -anyway-. and take my handbag everywhere to avoid snooping (good practice for even civvy dating).

I must be a great potential date  ::)
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amy

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #9 on: 30 October 2017, 05:24:59 pm »
Yup. I give a fake name to all potential dates and they know this. It's only until I know who they are and trust them enough. People are more understanding than I realised, if they don't understand they are not the right kind of person for me -anyway-. and take my handbag everywhere to avoid snooping (good practice for even civvy dating).

I think it's all excellent practice for anybody going on a date with somebody they don't know, regardless of occupation. To be fair though, I don't think internet dating existed as a mainstream activity when I met Mr Amy so I'm a bit out of the loop ;D.

English Green

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #10 on: 30 October 2017, 05:30:08 pm »
Do you really need to tell him you dont know him yet and its only a first date who knows where it will even go or if you will see him again?

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #11 on: 30 October 2017, 06:23:46 pm »
Are you looking for a serious long term relationship, or just a bit of fun?

If it's a bit of fun, then I don't think you ever need to disclose unless you want to.

If you want a serious relationship, and you intend to carry on doing sex work, then I think being upfront is best.
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Lucie268

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #12 on: 30 October 2017, 07:00:12 pm »
I just tell them when the inevitable 'what do you do?' question comes up.

Wailing Banshee

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #13 on: 30 October 2017, 07:18:09 pm »
God no! I made the mistake of telling a bloke I started seeing. When I decided to end it after 6 weeks he told my job and a tabloid paper, lost job, got put in the paper and outed everywhere. NEVER AGAIN!

SimplySinful

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Re: Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?
« Reply #14 on: 30 October 2017, 07:25:44 pm »
I think you have to be very careful here!

Unless you are completely out to everyone do take care when revealing what you do. 

I would definately not reveal on a first date, you may not click, you may hate him!

Wait a little while, see if it?s its going anywhere then re-evaluate.

After all once it?s out you can?t put it back in, and unfortunately some guys have been known to turn nasty or try and out you if things turn sour.