Going on a date....when n how do you reveal what you do for a living?

[JustAnotherHooker]

If its just a date then its not really any of his business and you shouldn't feel obliged to tell him, its better to get to know someone before you tell them that your a working girl, otherwise they may well get the wrong impression of you, not everyone is open minded & non judgmental about sex work.


Make a job up as it may just be one date & you may never ever see him after the date and you'd regret telling him.

[sofrozyne]

From my experience I would disclose this information only when I was certain this turned into sth serious and if we are to be in relationship he would need to know the truth. I would give hints as we go along. That's what happened to me. I met a guy, much much younger, I was keeping it very casual and distanced but he was just going more and more crazy about me. First I confronted him with a question about what he thinks now of prostitutes (it was more a discussion that basically led to this question being asked by me)saying I  used to have a friend who had no other choice but work as an escort. His answer suggested that he is ok with that but wouldn't be entirely happy if I did that. Though he would understand if I chosen that profession as a last resort.
I basically kept bringing him closer and closer to the business,mentioned I rent flat to working girls.
Then I was away abroad and he called me asking who is "My Working Name" I didn't answer and disconnected and then he messaged all links and pictures he could find. We had a talk and he said he suspected it since the first hint. So he basically did the math and he knew the truth. I told him I wanted him to find out, If I didn't then he never would. I also told him that now he knows we can be a proper relationship and he is very happy boy now. Me too as I no longer have to hide everything from him and it made my life so much easier! He also helps me a lot ,clean the flat,stays with kid when I tour. Everything just changed into better and my feeling for him too:-)
My advice is to keep it secret until you know it can turn into a serious relationship. Only if he loves you he will be able to put up with it. If you tell him on a first date then he either judge you straight away or keep you for a free sexual encounters. But if he doesn't know about it,he will want to get to know you for who you are deep inside and not for what you do.
Best of luck with your dates hun!
x

[foxylady]

I have come off a dating site for the same reason.  I'm far too honest and I can't envisage many guys being ok with it.  I just think the majority would want to 'try you out' and then dump you.  I clearly have met a lot of immature guys (usually on dating sites!)

Absolutely dying to know how date 2 went.....any update please?  I love a romance and here's hoping the tingling feeling is still there x

[kamila]

A lot of ladies will jidge me now. But I would never tell any one I am dating what I do.
I used to be in a relationship with 2 men. First man had no idea, used to see him after seeing a client. He was a twat in the end so do not regret not missing out on business whilst with him. Although I turned down a good agency because of him... This I regret.
Stopped working for a second man. Regretting it now.
My opinion is never share with your date, boyfriend etc. First of all, its a mercy, they will not have nagging thoughts and internal conflict. Second, he might turn out to be not worth it so why tell

[CurlsnCurves]

Just a little update, its going really well. I like him more n more every time I see him. He's sweet and doesn't mind me sending him out to buy my Tampax or food or litter for my cat. Didn't say a word when I asked if he'd pay for a little food shop for me and is really easy going and easy to be with. I can be myself whether it's feeling super horny, being chilled out, acting like an idiot, saying whatever I want to, I wonder how he'll cope with me this weekend on my period with cramps n backache? I think my snoring may be something I want to keep to myself n the cat as long as I can though, haha. I'm wondering now if my status is 'in a relationship'. We are planning little outings n things in the weeks ahead and going shopping for Xmas decorations at the weekend which I get excited about cos I love doing a Xmas tree n all that. Its all very positive so far. On the flip side escort work has dried up to nothing! And what now with totm on the cards at any time looks like I'm gonna stay skint a little longer. For once I'd like it if when we went out I had some money to spend!!! God knows I need new going out clothes, especially now and with Xmas coming.

[bedazzled45]

how long you been seeing him just thought id ask

[foxylady]

curlsncurves, good for you, as long as he continues to pay his way and treats you like a princess, it's great news!

And it's so romantic doing christmassy things with a new boyfriend......wishing you a great christmas together x

[Katiexxx]

God no! I made the mistake of telling a bloke I started seeing. When I decided to end it after 6 weeks he told my job and a tabloid paper, lost job, got put in the paper and outed everywhere. NEVER AGAIN!

+1

[English Green]

+1

Yep i would not tell a boyfriend too risky for blackmail or being outed seen it happen to other women so do not want to live in fear.

[Emma_C]

I am too scared to date civvy guys, always worried i will get outed when things turn sour. I only date married clients, which gives me a sense of security- they know my secret, i know their secret. Sad i know, but i just couldn't date a 'normal' man.

I go for unavailable men too! I'm trying a swingers site atm but not telling guys what I do. If I choose to, I may tell them once I've met them a couple of times. Hoping they'll be more accepting anyway than a civvy guy.

Dates are on a need to know basis, it may not go anywhere & you don't know what they are up to either.

[Guiltypleasure]

 I would stick with a cover story and then start leaning towards the adult industry after  a v long time , anyone sensible would understand if they loved you and it would have to be a real mutual love before I ever said anything.

More if you change your mind about the guy it will be easier to avoid a somewhat nasty situation .

I say I work away and that I'm a self employed / freelance ?not miles away from the truth , but not enough I hope to be found .

[AnnaP]

Don't disclose anything at this stage. Also, you
are assuming disclosure is correct thing for you to do
yet have you considered that he may not be a saint
himself?
For me personally I could never have a serious relationship
whilst doing this job. It is not only unfair and extremely
hypocritical but I wouldn't want to be with any man who
was ok with it, what does that say about him?
He'd never take you seriously and would more than likely take
revenge on you constantly behind your back, especially
If he's the passive aggressive type.
No decent man (and they do exist) wants to share
his mate with other men, I'm afraid that is an evolutionary fact.

[AnnaP]

I'm astonished at the amount of women on here
telling her to lie to him or even that she should tell him
gradually and then if he loved her he would understand!
Wrong, if he loves you he'd be genuinely distraught.
It is never ok to lie. We all come on here and belittle and
rant about men yet have hypocritical double standards.
If I thought I was going to be in a relationship with
someone I had feelings for I would have to quit.
This was never a life choice for me but a wage
topper upper lol. I don't think anyone should make
this their only job, for a number of reasons.
And what's the point in having an open relationship?
That just means neither of you have any respect for each other
and never will.

[Guiltypleasure]

Don't disclose anything at this stage. Also, you
are assuming disclosure is correct thing for you to do
yet have you considered that he may not be a saint
himself?
For me personally I could never have a serious relationship
whilst doing this job. It is not only unfair and extremely
hypocritical but I wouldn't want to be with any man who
was ok with it, what does that say about him?
He'd never take you seriously and would more than likely take
revenge on you constantly behind your back, especially
If he's the passive aggressive type.
No decent man (and they do exist) wants to share
his mate with other men, I'm afraid that is an evolutionary fact.

So all of us who are married are what ?

[Guiltypleasure]

I'm astonished at the amount of women on here
telling her to lie to him or even that she should tell him
gradually and then if he loved her he would understand!
Wrong, if he loves you he'd be genuinely distraught.
It is never ok to lie. We all come on here and belittle and
rant about men yet have hypocritical double standards.
If I thought I was going to be in a relationship with
someone I had feelings for I would have to quit.
This was never a life choice for me but a wage
topper upper lol. I don't think anyone should make
this their only job, for a number of reasons.
And what's the point in having an open relationship?
That just means neither of you have any respect for each other
and never will.

Very sweeping judgemental opinion , astonished !!!!