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Author Topic: Outed to family - need advice  (Read 4433 times)

GothGirl

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Outed to family - need advice
« on: 19 January 2018, 06:18:21 pm »
Hey guys, so the last week my so called ?best friend? outed me to my parents. Safe to say not happy. When questioned her, her reason was that she was ?worried?  ::)

My family do not want me to carry on working but I do. I?m in a lot of debt which I have no chance paying off unless I move back home with parents which I don?t want to do. If I give up escorting then I won?t be able to afford my rent/outgoings. Safe to say this has really fucked up the start of my year. Any advice would be greatful. Thanks x

BlaqHarlot

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #1 on: 19 January 2018, 07:47:30 pm »
Wow GG sounds awful! So sorry to hear.
Im assuming you didn?t deny it & just accepted? If so, probably best to lay low for a while to let the news die down and when it does die down, get back into it but maybe get a new set of photos, and a new profile, and maybe advertise in the town next to yours if you can just to be safe.

Its horrible that someone such as your friend would do something like this! I hope things get better for you soon! X

LondonNatalie

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #2 on: 19 January 2018, 07:51:53 pm »
I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. That's a really difficult situation to be in. Ultimately though this is your life and you need to do what you want with it. If you want to continue working then your family will have to come to terms with it. I really hope things get better for you soon.

LotusFlower

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #3 on: 19 January 2018, 08:18:06 pm »
I know it is difficult to see the silver lining in this, but there is one, trust me. You can only ever be outed once and now it's happened. You can now hold your head up high and get on with whatever it is you want to do.

The drama will die down. You've learned that some friends show their true colours. You will be stronger for this.

Keep your chin up ;)

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #4 on: 19 January 2018, 08:30:46 pm »
I know it is difficult to see the silver lining in this, but there is one, trust me. You can only ever be outed once

I absolutely agree with this. Although I accidentally outed myself to my (adult) son by leaving myself logged into my AW profile on our shared computer. <facepalm>

It's been hard to deal with his emotions, but it's also given me freedom. Nobody has anything they can hold over my head anymore. There's literally nothing a client can do to threaten me in that sense.
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

sultress000

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #5 on: 19 January 2018, 10:08:54 pm »
Yes have been there. If they are decent loving family they will get over it(eventually)  and let you do what suits you and love you anyway. It really helped my mum understand when I explained how much I love it.. How rewarding it is from the point of view of making others happy!

lady c

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #6 on: 19 January 2018, 10:40:50 pm »
yes, i have been there and still going through one or two things, however yours is in the open and you have not said they don't want to see you or disown you so maybe not so bad, are they are just angry as they have to absorb it? (this is what they all have to do when they find out, right) gosh why is it so hard when people find out.

Good luck with the out come, my advice is follow your heart and gut do it for the right reasons for you and give your friend an honest talking to about loyalty...

Chloe4

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #7 on: 19 January 2018, 11:18:20 pm »
Thanks for all your replies. Being able to talk about these things really helps.
Yes I still have my flat, something which he tried to push for me to give up. If I'm brutally honest with myself a few controlling issues were starting to creep in and hence the relationship breakdown.
It's been my wake up call that privacy in our chosen job is very important. Not to scare others...but really think about ever getting involved with a client...its painful when it goes tits up.....

I'm determined to re invent myself... :)
As bad as it was it also showed me how small minded parts of our society still can be. His family are from a small village...they looked like they wanted to burn me at the stake!! I drove away v quickly  :o

Chloe4

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #8 on: 19 January 2018, 11:27:21 pm »
Sorry I've posted on wrong thread. But I understand how you feel and please stay strong x

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #9 on: 20 January 2018, 03:43:13 pm »
GG, a way to approach it might be something like this. Via email or text or whatever.

Dear mum and dad, I realise you were shocked to find out my current job. Sex work carries a lot of unfair stigma in this country and there are a lot of negative stereotypes portrayed in the media.

I work independently for myself. I do not have a "pimp" and I do not work in a brothel or on the streets. I have me own apartment/work from hotels/whatever. I choose who I see as a customer. I have quite strict screening processes and have a number of security protocols which keep me safe.

The men I see range from young to old, and could be working class guys or top executive types. All of them are polite and respectful - if not they don't get to see me. Many are single and lack the confidence to approach women for dates. Many are very busy with their high powered career and don't have the time or energy for a girlfriend, but feel the need for female company once in a while. Some are widowers. There is no "type" of man who pays for sex.

I enjoy my job and I am proud that I deliver a good service that makes a real difference in people's lives. One client said to me "Thank you for seeing me as a human being and not just a collection of symptoms." [insert your own quote here, obviously] I know that I am making people's lives better.

I understand that you may be feeling shock and experiencing anxiety about my profession. I'll be happy to answer any questions you have. I do not want this issue to cause a rift between us, because I love you so much. I hope we can talk soon."

Hope this might help. Obviously adapt to your own style!
And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

foxylady

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #10 on: 20 January 2018, 04:00:05 pm »
VC what a moving and well written letter, nice touch! x

barbie88

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #11 on: 20 January 2018, 06:48:45 pm »
Went threw this my self 8 years ago and still get crap up till to now bout it.
My nan took it ok but others did not in my family I know how your feeling
even tho its really rubbish right now its a huge weight off my mind .
Because I was closed to my family any way it hasnt bothered me much
but it is really hard at first . We have to be so careful who we tell so sorry
this is happened to you hun x

Pandora Diamond

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #12 on: 20 January 2018, 10:29:45 pm »
You are a brave woman who fights for your ideals: your economic independence, live and depend on yourself, your family will sooner or later understand you ...!
Take away that "friend" from your life ... well you will find other friends in the path of your life, do not lose hope, sooner or later you have a solution ... blessings from the universe <3
Live today as if it were your last day ... but think as if you were to live forever xx

sultress000

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #13 on: 20 January 2018, 10:47:40 pm »
VC that's more or less the exact stuff I said when my mum found out and we chatted!! Brilliantly written. By the end of the conversation my mum actually said if she was a few years younger she might actually fancy it herself!!  :o

clairebear86

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Re: Outed to family - need advice
« Reply #14 on: 21 January 2018, 08:46:01 pm »
I hope your "friend" realises she has just risked your parents falling out with you all because she is worried. What is she worried about, that your going to be too busy living the high life to bother with her anymore. Id be sure to return the favour and blow her up soon as the crown slips. Miss goody goody