Outed to family - need advice

[GothGirl]

I hope your "friend" realises she has just risked your parents falling out with you all because she is worried. What is she worried about, that your going to be too busy living the high life to bother with her anymore. Id be sure to return the favour and blow her up soon as the crown slips. Miss goody goody

My mum ended up having a stroke day after finding out so hope my ?friend? is happy.

Thanks all for your replies xx

[clairebear86]

Aww hope things sort them selves out for you soon. Shes landed you right in the shit she has. X

[tinag11]

VC - Great letter, copied and kept for when it no doubt will happen one day....hopefully not for a long time!

[ana30]

My mum ended up having a stroke day after finding out so hope my ?friend? is happy.

Thanks all for your replies xx

I would mail her a photocopy of your moms hospital form with a: "Hope your're happy now". then block her from all my phones, email, social media and block her entirely from your life.

What a c*nt.

(Apologies but I can't stand passive agressive types specially when I hear what happened to your mom, it really angers me to hear this. I hope she's feeling better now)

[VoluptuousCurves]

My mum ended up having a stroke day after finding out so hope my ?friend? is happy.

Thanks all for your replies xx

Oh GG that's awful, I'm so sorry.

Please keep in your mind that it's your so-called friend's spiteful activity that may have caused this, not your profession. Also a TIA can occur randomly at any time, even in a person's sleep.

Take care of yourself right now as well as your family xx

[sultress000]

This is a passive aggressive move. Definitely Not a proper friend!

[GothGirl]

I would mail her a photocopy of your moms hospital form with a: "Hope your're happy now". then block her from all my phones, email, social media and block her entirely from your life.

What a c*nt.

(Apologies but I can't stand passive agressive types specially when I hear what happened to your mom, it really angers me to hear this. I hope she's feeling better now)

I gave her a piece of my mind the day after she told my mother and blocked her on everything 

[GothGirl]

Hey girls, many of you will have seen my post about being outed to my family. Anyway, I invited my mother around last night for dinner, wish I bloody hadn?t now. The following things were said to me - She told me that she has found a lump and hopes it is cancer because she?d rather be dead than watch me ruin my life. She said I will never get married because nobody will ever want me because of the escorting. She also said that my nephew will be bullied in school because everyone will know his auntie is a prostitute. Also said that my brother will stop me seeing my nephew if I carry on working.

I am in no good financial situation to give up escorting & as I have told her numerous times, I?m happy doing the job and I am not prepared to quit. I feel like she is emotionally Black mailing & I am at a loss end at what to do. Any advice would be welcomed as I have nobody in the industry to talk to. Thanks x

[seraphine]

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[GothGirl]

Yes, it very much sounds like emotional blackmail.
Perhaps you had a good and close relationship with your mother and family before being outed - and maybe they need time to cool down and accept your choices.
But maybe your relationship with them was not that great at all. And maybe it would be better not to look for unconditional support and acceptance if it wasn't there in the first place.
I understand that your mother has health issues at the moment, which doesn't make the situation easier and can add so many feelings to the mix, guilt and duty among others.

The way I see it is that you are an adult - you have the right to make your own choices. You are not responsible for your family's feelings. You can however be sensitive about their feelings and be discreet about sex work (which you indeed were before being outed).

I don't know if I'm talking much sense here. Family can be a source of such heartbreak.
I decided to go no contact with my family as it was the only healthy choice.
Sending you a big hug x

Exactly what I said - I?m an adult I can make my own choices. She then started saying that I?m only doing it to punish her??? Wtf. I?m thinking of cutting contact to be honest. X

[seraphine]

.

[barbie88]

Just catching up with this post I hope your mums health is well and
I think shes just lashing out because she is angry would like to say
it gets better my sister can hardly look me in the face now days
even when I stopped they still hated on me . I was never close close
to my family any way . And I dont see how your nephew will get
bullied at school unless they go round telling people which sounds
like there not going too . I know it may be hard for them to accept
but like you said your a adult your choice hope things get better Hun x

[sultress000]

So, so sorry to hear your mum said those horrible things to you. Sometimes people just can't see past their own ideas and she must have alot of strong opinions on sex work being  shameful and awful.
If it eats away at you I would definitely recommend a counselor, someone impartial. Especially if the guilt and shame she wants you to feel take hold!
These are her issues not yours. Possibly with time she will soften, I don't know. So many parents feel their children owe them some sort of debt for bringing them into the world and raising them. And then are furious if we don't fit with their ideal of who their daughter should be.
If she can't love you and accept you being happy,  how can you continue to have a relationship with her?
Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk

[GothGirl]

So, so sorry to hear your mum said those horrible things to you. Sometimes people just can't see past their own ideas and she must have alot of strong opinions on sex work being  shameful and awful.
If it eats away at you I would definitely recommend a counselor, someone impartial. Especially if the guilt and shame she wants you to feel take hold!
These are her issues not yours. Possibly with time she will soften, I don't know. So many parents feel their children owe them some sort of debt for bringing them into the world and raising them. And then are furious if we don't fit with their ideal of who their daughter should be.
If she can't love you and accept you being happy,  how can you continue to have a relationship with her?
Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk

Thank you, I have been seeing a counsellor for the past couple of weeks x

[Nora batty]

Families will say things out of shock, it takes time for them to be able to accept and think about it rationally.  It took my father 6 months before I was allowed back into the house.  He was totally fine after that and we never mentioned it again.

They just hear the word escort/prostitute and they really do imagine the worst.  But with a little time they stop thinking of you as that first and remember that you are you first not your job. 

I am sorry you are going through this, give yourself space from them.  hope your mum is going to be ok.

Big hug x