Spotting timewasters

[Hannaah]

I'm new to both this world and saafe so please tell me if I do something wrong here

A few days ago I received an email asking for a booking, after exchanging a few emails the booking was made and confirmed and my address sent over the day before the booking was due to take place. Guy seemed very genuine, direct and I had no reason to believe he was a time waster.

Appointment time arrives and he hasn't shown so I contact him asking him to let me know if something has come up, to which he replies he is late and will be with me with some friends by 4.30.

The original booking was 3, he had never mentioned these 'friends' before in our prior communication, and he just assumed it was okay to call at this new time without even asking.

I know sometimes things come up and it can't be helped, and I do list mmf on my ad, so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt as he seemed genuine, professional etc, so I confirmed this new time.

Comes to 5pm and still hasn't shown, so I contact him telling him if he is serious he will need to rebook (Should have just told him to fuck off, sometimes I am too polite!) to which he replies with "That's fine I'll be there tomorrow morning."

Again with the assumption he can come whenever he wants to and this is after telling him in an original email I am available only weekday afternoons and evenings!

And what a surprise, he didn't show this morning either. I haven't bothered to contact him, and have heard nothing from him since. I'm hoping I don't have to worry he has my address.

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[strawberry]

I would suggest you have a look around the forum for topics on booking and confirmation procedures. Things like phone contact at a definite time, giving out the address only when sure can minimise the chances of people wasting your time.

[amy]

I would suggest you have a look around the forum for topics on booking and confirmation procedures. Things like phone contact at a definite time, giving out the address only when sure can minimise the chances of people wasting your time.

This is really why I've moved this post here from Warnings - I think it's far more important that the OP here gets some advice rather than bunging up the TW board with a textbook messer who most of us would spot as soon as he didn't confirm.

Hannah, there's a lot of different problems here but firstly the majority of us would not give our full addresses out to random people off the internet, and if you don't either, you won't be in this position again of worrying about somebody you don't know turning up whenever they feel like it. A street name or nearby landmark such a shop, even a post box is usual - pick a place that you can see if possible, and only when you know for certain they've arrived give out the house number (and I don't even do this).

If somebody has booked for a particular time, and then has to alter it for whatever reason they need to tell you before that time rolls round; it is not for you to sit about waiting to be summoned and it isn't for you to chase him, either. If somebody doesn't show and hasn't contacted you to say why (I give them about ten minutes before I get changed and forget about it, although I get very few no shows) then save/block their number and forget about them.

As for just deciding that he's 'going to bring some mates' over with him, if you really can't see what's wrong here then I think you need to seriously consider whether you've thought about your work practices properly - you have to be confident and assertive to do this job and whether you advertise MMF (as do I) or not does not mean that it's for punters to decide when you do it and with whom.  You need serious security in place to maintain your safety, but even aside from that you need to lose the idea that because somebody is paying they can do whatever they like and it doesn't matter. I offer anal, but that doesn't mean it's OK for a punter to just shove it in my bum without asking me first.

This bloke is unlikely to ever come anywhere near you, but if you don't have a booking procedure beyond 'here's the address, I'll see you then' then this sort of thing is going to happen a lot. Read through the main SAAFE site and you should find lots of helpful stuff to make you feel a bit more on top of things .

[Hannaah]

Thank you for the replies and help and advice Strawberry and Amy.

I generally tend not to give my address until the client is near, and thought little of it this time as it was such short notice-wont be making that mistake again and will be using a nearby street instead.

I was also quite pissed about him mentioning friends, but wasn't sure if that was okay/acceptable etc given I had it listed within the hourly rate. Now I know to tell them to get lost if they try to arrange it that way again.

Your response has been very helpful Amy, thank you

[meetingdiversity]

I'm new to both this world and saafe so please tell me if I do something wrong here

A few days ago I received an email asking for a booking, after exchanging a few emails the booking was made and confirmed and my address sent over the day before the booking was due to take place. Guy seemed very genuine, direct and I had no reason to believe he was a time waster.

Appointment time arrives and he hasn't shown so I contact him asking him to let me know if something has come up, to which he replies he is late and will be with me with some friends by 4.30.

The original booking was 3, he had never mentioned these 'friends' before in our prior communication, and he just assumed it was okay to call at this new time without even asking.

I know sometimes things come up and it can't be helped, and I do list mmf on my ad, so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt as he seemed genuine, professional etc, so I confirmed this new time.

Comes to 5pm and still hasn't shown, so I contact him telling him if he is serious he will need to rebook (Should have just told him to fuck off, sometimes I am too polite!) to which he replies with "That's fine I'll be there tomorrow morning."

Again with the assumption he can come whenever he wants to and this is after telling him in an original email I am available only weekday afternoons and evenings!

And what a surprise, he didn't show this morning either. I haven't bothered to contact him, and have heard nothing from him since. I'm hoping I don't have to worry he has my address.

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Always ask them to phone as it is difficult to get a gut instink about via email it could be some one wanking for example playing a prank. Always get clients to confirm on the day of booking before giving the street name. If a client changes his mind mid booking, bringing one other man. That is a red alert on it's own. I got robbed by two men, well one posed as client the other took me by surprise. Some do like calling the shots for one reason or the other. But they need to respect my rules before the meeting as if pushy goodness knows what during encounters. Stay safe. xx.

[Hadley]

Hi Hannah,

I would also say (although it's up to you) that it may not be wise to list MMF threesomes (or any other kind of group booking) within your hourly rate. It's more work, and a lot more risky safety-wise for you to see more people, and I think it's very much expected by clients that you will charge more per person. If you charge the same amount for one man as for many, it increases the risk of guys turning up unexpectedly with friends, as this one nearly did. After all, they get their service plus they save more money the more people they bring. If you want to do that and that's your reasoned choice then that's fine, but I think you should be aware that group bookings included in the hourly rate isn't something that's routinely offered, and in fact I've never heard of any other escort doing that at all. Just something to think about x

[meetingdiversity]

Over email some can be convincing with words and should only be taken serious when their money is in your hand. Clients need to prove they are genuine before as assuming I got wrong a few times. I can tell 9  times out of 10 by thier voice and one other who I talk to can too. Also the pornographic details they want for s booking when inquiring most likly they are wanking waiting. So I just explain come then you will see. I don't here from them again this says it all. Also be carful of the same ones who keeps booking then cancelling. A few do this then deny like they try and fool me but only themselves. Always get changed on arrival so if a no show it wouldn't matter as much just do other things around the house etc.

[Ladyaraminta]

I am sick of them but how do you know who is and who isn't.

I don't see many people and get very cross when these tossers book me and then vanish.

What can we do ?

[amy]

Well there's some advice on the main SAAFE site, and you can also type 'spotting timewasters' or similar into the Search box here which will fetch up quite a few past threads where this has been discussed.

This one should be helpful, and also this one with regard to booking procedures - I very rarely have a problem with no shows and I think a strict booking/confirmation procedure is largely the reason why .

[mrescort]

ive not had many time wasters but i remember my 1st one,  they wanted me to go and meet them at a hotel, i went there and waited and they said they couldnt make it... i feel like an idiot

[Aqua Allegoria]

You'll be able to spot tw with a bit of practice.

Read those threads Amy put up. They saved me whole lot of time when I started. Really a lot!

You'll learn with time. It's a bit difficult at the beginning because you want to have bookings etc. So you'll probably get one tw or two. But you'll know quickly how to spot them.

Good luck.

[Rosamarriott111]

Hi, just wanted to ask the more experienced ladies, how do you get the vibes that you are dealing with a timewaster on the phone?

I usually get the idea when they are whispering into the phone for no reason and when they ask too many questions re services or something I don't offer e.g. 15 min bookings or start describing their genital size. Is there anything else to watch out for? Thank you.

[BibiofLeeds]

The ones that ring repeatedly for the same info but don't make a booking,the ones that ask for your address so they can come round without making a proper appointment.Guys who ring up and ask if they can speak to the escort rather than your name.The ones that sound over friendly tend to be timewasters like asking you over and over how you are and if you are busy.Most genuine blokes ring up and get on with making a booking.Oh the over detailed dressing requests tend to be no shows as well.

[Kay]

I find it's the ones that go into a LOT of detail about either themselves or what they want to do.

Talking about cock size - either extreme of size - has been a cast iron sign of a TW with me, as are those that describe something in particular, like how much they want to come on my breasts, for example. Also ones that go on that wish they could bareback me (and even if they weren't a TW, I wouldn't see them).

Sadly, also, being younger than about 28 seems to increase the chances - both in terms of never making a booking or not turning up if they do.

Otherwise it's just good old woman's intuition, using a silly voice, asking a bizarrely specific question etc.

[mature helen]

My tips are
1.If you doubt them and they found you through AW ask them to put a booking form through 9 times out of 10 you wont get one.
2.If they get too personal asking what you will be wearing for the meeting.
3.If they volunteer the size of their dick and will you be able to manage it
4.When you give them your post code after a few seconds ask them to read it back to you if they cant they usually hang up straight away.
5.List timewasters on your phone its amazing how many times a man will call you week in week out with no intention of turning up but if you have logged his number you will be prepared.