Relationship v escorting

[isobelle]

I started escorting in November for the first time, working for an agency and I absolutely love it. I only do 1 or 2 days a week together with a separate part-time job and plans to go to university next year so I think I'm keeping a nice balance. I love the excitment and variety it brings and never knowing what to expect and I've met tons of really interesting people.

However....I started seeing an ex-boyfriend around the same time I started escorting. We always had amazing sex but had/have a very volative relationship - extreme highs and lows so had tried to keep things casual this time around (like that ever works!). He knew about the escorting, it was actually him that introduced me to the idea of escorting. He didn't suggest that I try it he just talked about experiences he'd had in the past with escorts and it kind of opened my mind to the sex industry and dissolved any stereotypes (about escorts and 'typical' clients).

So yeah he knew about the escorting...said he was ok with it then started to get attached again and said he hated it and asked for us to be exclusive. I said yes but I've still been working .....I didn't really feel guilty at first because I didn't think we would go anywhere but we've started to get more and more serious and he wants me to move in with him (we dated for 2yrs before the breakup so not just met in November!). I know feel crippled with guilt....and do want a relationship with him but I love the job (and the money!).

I've never cheated on anyone before and have certaintly not been with any men outside of work whilst being with him and I wouldn't be interested in that. Is it weird that this doesn't feel like cheating? I love the job but not really in a sexual way if that makes sense. I'm really struggling with what to do. I know what I'm doing isn't fair on him and I shouldn't be lieing to him. I also wouldn't be able to lie to him if I lived with him.

Any advice from people who have been in similar situations would be much appreciated

[figa98]

Hi Isobelle,its a tough one for sure.

Why not try suggesting that you would like to start escorting again and see his reaction?or do you already know its a big no no now?will he not accept it at all now?

If you feel there is no way he would accept it then you have to make the descion which one is more important,how much you love him,how much you want this relationship to work,etc,etc.

I totally get what you are saying re you are not cheating,I am in a relationship,my OH is very understanding and knows its work ( am not saying its easy,it is not ).He does want me to stop sooner rather than later.It has in a strange way made us stronger though.Everyone is different and there are no rights or wrongs in this situation.

If my OH said its me or the job tomorrow though,the job would be gone for me.

[EvaBeeva]

Sex work isn't cheating.  A few of us are in monogamous relationships with our partners as we don't consider anything paid as a regular part of our sex life.

There is another thread about this somewhere, only I can't find it as ironically I have to work.